Christmastime check in

It’s a few days before Christmas and I do not seem to have had the drive to pull together a Christmas letter to put in the mail. Although, I do feel the need to close out the year with a blog post as we started our home study in December and this month, our journey has reached the one year mark. We talked with our social worker today and while there is no news on progress, it was comforting to hear her say she had no idea what she was asking us to endure when she told us about Peng back in May. They were told the kids would be registered very soon and the conservative estimate for our travel time to adopt little Peng was December. Here we are in December and we are still not even formally matched with him because he’s not registered yet. It’s a bit surreal. The China Center that processes adoptions will be shutting down from Dec. 28 to supposedly Jan. 5, but potentially longer if they need the time to fix their system. They seem to have stopped registering children in recent weeks, in anticipation of that shut down. He might be registered in January. He might not. But each month, we can’t help but hope.

I’ve read some stories lately. One was of a little boy orphaned during World War II. He was a gypsy, but he also was identified as a Jew. The story of his experiences, his pain, his coping mechanisms reminded me there is a lot the human heart can endure. There was tremendous loss, yet there was also tremendous selflessness and love for those he became close to as family. I also have been reading about the atmosphere and atrocities committed in China during the Cultural Revolution. Under communism’s guise of equality, families were brutally forced to denounce, humiliate, shame and betray each other in allegiance to the one ‘family’ of the state. The destruction of the family unit was one of the main goals during that era and tore away at the fabric of society. It became all about saving your own skin. It hardened generations of hearts. I can’t help but wonder how that long, awful season in China's history has shaped the people living there today in regards for the systems and perspectives they carry about adoption, family and priorities. When I’m tempted to get really, really annoyed with them, I have been reminded that these people have been through a lot and that kind of oppression and misused power can really color the way you see the world.

I’m not sure I have a clear point with sharing all of that except that I think I’ve been needing to look outside myself. If I look inward too long and dwell on the ridiculousness of the roadblocks we’ve run into and the injustice of Peng having to wait so long for the mere folly of bad organization – I do start to spiral down. Maybe entering others’ pain helps me carry the pain of our experience.

I’ve noticed the wide variety of realities in my heart this past month. Grief. Trust. Helplessness. Perseverance. Sadness. Christmas. Anticipation.  Disappointment. It’s been amazing to me that I can feel and experience all of these seemingly contradictory realities so often and so regularly. Mostly flipping around back and forth and all in between them within the day. This hymn has resonated with me lately…

I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

Some hours I laugh and am just in the moment. Some hours I wake up in the middle of the night compelled to pray with all my might. Some hours I am so angry at this system that has children trapped in institutions for excessive amounts of time. Some hours I remember God’s redeeming power.

So, if you catch me in person, I can’t predict for you which hour I’ll be in. I may want to talk about it. I may really be tired of talking about it. But in every hour, I know my helplessness and I know my only stability is Jesus Christ.

The Savior. The Messiah. The true God. Light of light eternal. Our Saving Grace. We celebrate his birth with joy regardless of what we’re feeling or experiencing. His goodness is the only hope we really have.

With much to be thankful for....

....we wish you a Merry Christmas and thank you again for reading and caring and praying for our family....

Jay and Trey

We were just informed also that China’s national child welfare organization (CCCWA) realizes it's “system” is inefficient and is closing from December 28^th for a week to re-organize. This could mean things will get a lot quicker! This could also mean things will slow down for a learning curve.  I’m learning not to like knowing practically nothing about the progress of our case, but resigning myself to it.

All this to say, it’s a brutal process, this road to adoption. And yet, I am going to keep advocating for it. Our social worker just asked me today “Do you think you might know anyone who would want to adopt Trey?” He had a family pursuing him, but then it just fell thru this week.  Another little boy, "Jay",too, had a family pursuing him who changed their mind on him a week or so ago.

Both Trey and Jay were sitting next to Peng in the first picture we ever saw of him.

If there is ANYTHING good about the orphanage taking SO LONG to prepare these kids files, it’s that it gives our agency a few extra months of trying to find homes for a few of the children.

This means that a family who has not started the adoption process AT ALL, probably has time to begin a home study, prep their dossier and get going to submit a Letter of Intent to China to adopt one of these little guys.

But that family would have to act fast.

Once the boys are registered, a two month clock starts ticking. If our agency can’t find homes for them, they go to a master list where it is not uncommon for children to sit for years because no one is specifically advocating for them.  If they do end up finding a family, it will be hard for us to find that family.  My prayer and hope has been for Peng to be able to keep the door open to know where his buddies from his early years will be.  In a dream world, they’d be in Minnesota! If not, it would be great to at least know where they are so the boys could have this link to their past. They will have lost so much, including the link to their birth parents. My hope is that they could at least they could stay connected to each other.

I guess, what I’m asking here is….

I wonder if someone reading this post is open to adopting Trey or Jay. 
 

I would love to share more about them.

Trey
 

Trey is an adorable almost 4 year old boy in our Yangzhou partnership orphanage. His file is being readied. His classification will be LID only, because he was treated in the first two weeks of life with antibiotics for a condition he was exposed to. All gone and no residual effects! He looks so serious, and he can focus well, but he knows how to have fun too. He has a buddy(Jay), and they are a riot together!!! He has normal development.

Trey

Trey

Jay

Jay was a little delayed because of his cleft, but in the past year or so has caught up in all areas.  He can speak, but his speech is not entirely clear. His receptive language and understanding is normal. He is a very animated and playful little boy. He is sociable, but has a best friend and shares a room with him. They were observed together and they do seem to share a bond of friendship.  They both loved popping bubbles from a bubble machine and laughing hysterically. Jay had surgery thanks to a medical team from Hong Kong that comes to the area once a year to provide surgery.  The lip was neatly repaired. Jay attends preschool class in the orphanage.  Jay takes directions well from adults and behaves well, despite his playful nature.  Very cute boy with a great personality! 

 

Here is a video highlighting Jay. This was just taken last week! (Trey is in the background in the red shirt)
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljTtvcOpeTw&feature=youtu.be
 

During this waiting time for Peng's file to be registered, I am trying to utlize the connections I have made and be pro-active in advocating for the other kids who are still waiting for families.  If Peng could know Trey and Jay as they grow up, it would be a gift to all three boys.

Adoption is not an easy path. This process alone can be brutal...wait, I already said that, didn't I? But I imagine the harder parts are yet to come as we walk with Peng through the grief, loss, frustration, and all the ramifications that institutional life can have on a child.  Even through all this - I believe it is worth it. These little lives are worth it. They are young and they can heal with the proper support.

Please consider if God is asking you to be the one to journey with them.

If He's not, pay attention to your heart as you pray for these boys and if someone comes to mind, would you forward them this blog?

Don't limit your thinking to families who have no biological children. There are many who may be willing to take this step of faith to see God's healing hand in a child's life, but just need an invitation. And if money is the issue, please encourage them that there are many financial resources out there as well as the reality that God is bigger than money.

The contact for learning more about Trey and Jay is Pam Thomas at Across the World Adoptions. atwachina@gmail.com

Thanks for caring about us, our journey, Peng and his buddies too. 
Happy week to you all :)

 

10 more steps

I realized the other day that I’ve been saying there are about a dozen or so stages left of this adoption that we have to do before meeting our guy.  I decided that I’d better actually count them….and behold, I only found 10.  Many of you have been praying with us for months for Peng’s file to get registered in Beijing. This has been our prayer since June.  This “Step 11” has taken incredibly longer than ever anticipated and if you are able to pray than NONE of these 10 steps left would take nearly that long….we’d be ever so thankful.

We all want to know when we’re traveling to China.  If I focus on how long it might be before we could possibly go, I get so sad and discouraged. I have to break it down into little goals and try to celebrate the progress. If you’d like to celebrate these little steps with us and understand what they actually are, I thought I’d lay it all out…..

10. Peng’s file needs to get registered at CCCWA (China Center for Children’s Welfare and Adoption) in Beijing.  (Time frame: 1 more day – 4 months?)

9. Lu (our agency rep living in China) submits our Letter of Intent (LOI) to adopt Peng.
(Time frame: Submitted the day after he’s registered.)

8. CCCWA assesses our LOI, matches it with Peng’s registered file and issues us Pre-Approval.  This means our file is finally linked with his in the system. This is likely when we will be ready to announce Peng’s new family name J (Timeframe: 2 days after receiving LOI to 3 weeks)

7. Receive “soft” Letter of Seeking Confirmation (LOSC). This is the email version that we have officially been approved by China to adopt Peng. (Timeframe: 1 week – 12 weeks)

6. Apply to USCIS to get permission to bring Peng, specifically,  into the country. With this “soft” LOSC, we can get the ball rolling.  Once we receive the hard copy of LOSC, we submit that asap.  (Timeframe: 3-4 weeks)

5. Receive approval from the U.S. that Peng is suitable to immigrate here.  National Visa Center (NVC) sends this approval to Guangzhou, China. (Time frame: 1 week)

4. We file our DS-260 online to apply for his Visa. (Time frame: a few days)

3. Receive Article 5. This is the approval from the U.S. that tells China they approve of China's approval of bringing Peng into our country. If it's starting to sound like a lot of approving approvals, it is.  (Time frame: 10 days)

2. Receive Travel Approval from China. (Time frame: 3 weeks)

1. Travel to China (Time frame: 2-6 weeks)

So, as you can see the bigger waits are near the higher steps (where we are now) and Lord willing, those final 5 steps will fly by. Until then, we wait.

Advent will have a new meaning this year. The people of God waited a long time for the Messiah to be born.  Peng will have to wait quite a few more months for his family.  In his little heart and mind, I pray he can understand Jesus is waiting with him.  I know I’ve said this before, but Jesus is his Savior, not us. And God can be his Provider right now where he’s at, just like He’s providing for us right now where we are at.

While we wait, we choose to rejoice in that truth. And still we fully acknowledge the really tough emotions of waiting.  It still amazes me how you can miss someone you’ve never met.

If there is anything or anyone you are waiting for, I hope you sense Jesus’ shepherding presence walking with you through it.

Blessings on the rest of your Thanksgiving weekend….

Noticing the same

Back in 1999, I went to see the Disney movie “Tarzan” with my roommate, Lisa.  I had just recently been to listen to speaker, Holly Van Gulden, a therapist and good counselor on adoptive parenting.  She was so wise and insightful and I had gained lots of good resources to offer the adoptive families I was working with at the time.  We came to a scene in the movie where the boy Tarzan starts realizing he’s different from his ‘ape family’.  She begins to sing a song to him and lovingly points out all the things they have in common. It was a sweet scene and at the one point , she pulls Tarzan to put his hands against hers. His eyes get big and he seems to realize they both have five fingers and that they have something in common. At this point, I lean over to Lisa and excitedly say “This is such great adoptive parenting!” To which she proceeds to firmly, yet affectionately tell me to be quiet as she wipes the tears streaming down her face. I guess I ruined the moment.

In biological families it’s so common to say “You have your mom’s nose” or “When you said that, you sounded just like your dad.” Adopted children don’t have this lifelong reinforcement of sameness, unless we intentionally notice it.  Some shared characteristics can be learned like “You enjoy being outside, just like your mom.” Some characteristics just happen to be the same, even though they are not biological “You have stick straight hair, just like your dad!”  Adoptive families are often encouraged to all use the same shampoo, have matching shirts, get similar hair cuts, sometimes when everything seems different those are just teeny little things you can have the same. 

When Peng comes home and for the rest of his life within our family, he will be different. He will have a different skin color, a different set of birth parents, a different early childhood, a different ‘label’, a different story. And that is what will stand out first. 

We all do it. We see a family all of one color and notice one family member is a different color. We are immediately intrigued. We see a family and notice one person is in a wheelchair, or is missing a limb, we are curious. It’s only natural to focus on the difference.  The choice comes in what happens next.

Being Chinese, he will obviously look different from the rest of our pale skinned, blue eyed family. And when he meets new people, he will likely always be asked some of the same questions for his whole life like “That's your brother?”, “Do you want to meet your ‘real’ parents someday?” or “How much did it cost to adopt you?”

Many people feel these kinds of questions right off the bat are as personal as asking a stranger “Do you think your parents will ever divorce?”, “Have you ever been to therapy?” or “How much do you earn in a year?”

I also remember Holly Van Gulden telling a story of walking into a grocery store with her family. I believe she had three of her children with her at the time, they were all different nationalities and someone came up to her and asked “Where are they from?” Holly turned to her children and said “Do you feel like sharing part of your story today?” Two shook their heads no and one said “I’m from India”. Holly shortly wrapped up the conversation and moved on with shopping. I have remembered this story for 15 years.  It was powerful in my eyes, because she aligned herself with her children rather than feeling the need to answer every question asked of her about her children. She proved something to her kids that day – that their needs and their story are theirs.  They can share if they choose and share with whom they choose and mom will support them. She noticed the "same". They were on the same team.

There is a range of what kinds of comments and questions are appropriate for us to discuss in front of Peng when he gets here.  Ultimately, he will have to figure out when and with whom he feels comfortable sharing his story as he grows up.

Our job will be to model navigating personal conversations for him and equipping him to have them himself. This will be a learning curve for all of us. I’m not sure what I will feel is intrusive or inappropriate yet. I hope we handle ourselves with grace towards well-meaning information seekers, more details to those closer to us and also loyalty to Peng, his privacy and his story.
Being adopted will always be a part of what Peng has experienced and he will always be ‘different’ in that way in our family.  We will need to be sensitive to this reality and be aware that the world we live in is not free of stereotypes and judgments he may experience differently than we have.

However, it is my hope that while ‘being adopted’ is a part of him, it doesn’t define him.  I want him to know his first identity is simply that he is a Child of the King. He is the outpouring of God’s heart and imagination and has the mark of God’s image on him. He is a gift and has much blessing to offer.  I hope he will see that he is much more like us than he is different. I hope he will know that God creates families by birth, by marriage and by adoption. And that he has just as much a right to be a part of our family as any of us. 

Logistical update: Not much to share. Still waiting for Peng’s file to get to Beijing. We’ve been told it should be within a week from now.  We’ve been told these things before, so not holding our breath. But still trusting in Jesus. Can’t hurt to keep knocking on God’s door!

Hope

God has been good to us in that He keeps giving me fresh words from His heart, pictures of His character and reminders of His love.  You know how some days, weeks, months can go by and it feels like you're just on auto pilot? That's reality sometimes and God is still present in that. However, that's not our story right now.  Currently, I am so grateful that God is meeting me, right where we are at, in the midst of this drama of waiting. He's given me a few phrases/pictures/message lately.

"Your hope is in Me. Not the Chinese Government."

No, we didn't make our October 2nd marker and now the Chinese government takes a seven day shutdown.  To be completely honest, I think I'm looking forward to this little break. Each morning, I check my email and in the back of my mind am waiting for a phone call saying "The files are in! The files are in!". Then, each day, when I don't hear the news, my countenance falls a little.  It's a weary way to live. My hope is in the Lord. I can't hope for specific dates or specific because they will fail me.  I get anxious and annoyed when I think about the logistics of this entire adoption process. 

So recently, I feel like I've been given a new spirit...one of hope, not defeat.  And I had the idea of  making a list of seven things I am going to do over this next seven day Chinese government shutdown.  And I'm excited about them.

1)  Get a haircut (done!)

2) Write this blog (done!)

3) Finish Peng's book of our family pictures with Chinese captions to mail to him once we're official

4)  Buy Peng a soft blanket.  Each of our kids have one and love hearing how they got it. It also involves shopping, which is what this Chinese holiday was created for to boost the economy. As they say "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?"

5) Share on FB about all the other waiting children in Peng's orphanage and a few others that need help in finding a family.

6) Pray fervently for the newly orphaned and all the suffering in Liberia.  Keeping my eyes on the needs of others who are in desperation for the Lord's mercy keeps me from keeping my eyes fixed on my own issues.

7) Work on a fun video of my kids and share it.  I like having those for our family library and I haven't made one for a while. I want to celebrate the little lives already in my care.

"Be the one thing that I see...You are before me....Fix your eyes on Jesus."

Phrases like these have flooded my experiences within the past week or two. Many times over the past week, I have been reminded of this theme...of what I am LOOKING at. During these times of reminder...in a song, in our Bible study, in my personal devotion, in a bathroom reading a Scripture off a shower curtain (true story)....I visualize the same thing. ...I just see Jesus standing right in front me.  Not blocking me or really doing much of anything, but just right there.  Looking at me, inviting me to look at Him. It's such a peace filled experience.  Instead of fixing my eyes on these issues or burdens, I just see Him. It's as simple as that. When I'm tempted to start analyzing, pondering, thinking too much, I just see Him standing there and look at Him. It's pretty awesome redirection on what is live giving to dwell on.

"I am making all things beautiful."

A few weeks ago, in a time of prayer, God gave me another picture of His love when I gave him a bouquet of flowers during my prayer. Each flower represented all the terrific times this past summer when I experienced His goodness, His mercy, His tangible love.  Many of those times were when I was with my family. Then I picked up broken sticks, put them in a basket and gave Him also, that bundle of sticks.  Those represented the dry, lonely heaviness of not having Peng with us and of him still in institutional care where He does not belong. Jesus received that bundle of sticks from me, just as He had taken the bouquet from me a few minutes earlier.  Then, in my prayer, I just watched Him. He held the basket and reached for the bouquet I had given Him a few moments earlier.  He began to start putting the flowers into the basket, with the sticks, interspersing them and making a beautiful, earthy and rugged arrangement. I was then reminded of His words in Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He makes all things beautiful in His time." He is weaving Peng's story in with ours and in His time, making something beautiful.

It was such a powerful experience for me, that afterwards I took Jude and Annie to the craft store, found a perfect little basket and a bunch of different colored flowers (on clearance because they were making room for fall flowers!) and a piece of foam to put them in. We went home, gathered sticks from outside and then later I told all three kids about my prayer time.  The next day during homeschool time, we each made a basket.  Well, Annie made three mini arrangements using toilet paper tubes. As Jude came near the end of his arrangement, he said "Mom, do you know why there aren't many sticks in mine?" I responded that I didn't know why.  He then said "It's because God is taking over the sadness."

We're getting closer. Jude can sense it. I think we all can sense it. Every day is closer, right?

Peng is in the hands of God, as are we.

We are all where we are and our hope is in the mighty name of Jesus.

Names

A few weekends ago, we took our annual trip to the Edina Fall Into Arts festival.  We always seem to find something creative and unique for random gift giving opportunities.  This year was no exception…watch out mom and dad!

But this year, we also met Ching, who was selling her paintings, as well as her beautiful original Chinese characters. We decided to commission her to write our kids’ names in Chinese. The language has always struck me as beautiful and completely intimidating, so I’m learning about it in bite size portions.  We found out Timothy would be three characters because it’s three syllables. But Jude’s name is two characters because, although it’s only one syllable, it’s two sounds “ju” and “d”.  We then told her about Qiu Peng who is waiting for us in China and asked her to write his name as well. It was funny that it was Peng's Chinese name that  actually caused her the most hesitation. She said there are a few ways to say “Peng” and she wasn’t sure which one to use. From my small research, I had found that I thought “Peng” meant “mythical bird”. She lit up and said then she knew what to write.  She wrote it out, but something seemed off to me.  It looked different than what I remembered from Peng’s pictures where they had written his name in crayon and held it above him.  But, I took it home and thought I’d double check with the paperwork I had. I did a little more research and I did find out it was a different character. Thankfully, Ching graciously re-wrote his name and mailed it to us free of charge. 

In my learning, I found out that “Peng” the way his character is written actually means “luxurious growth”.  What a great name! Just finding out that little nugget made my heart skip a beat. It was such a picture of how God has SUCH plans for luxurious growth for this little guy. Our social worker said that the orphanage staff does try to give the kids names that have meaning. I hope to find out more about that when we go and maybe even meet the person who named him. And while “mythical bird” is OK and very Chinese, I love the future hope that “luxurious growth” implies. 

Peng’s full name includes Yang (for the region Yangzhou, where the orphanage is) and also Qiu. So his full name pronounced sounds like Young Chew Pong, but is spelled in pinyin Yang Qiu Peng.  Then, finally in characters 杨秋芃.

We are pretty sure about a new name we will give Peng when he gets here. We're not quite ready to share it yet though :) We would like him to have an easily recognizable name within the community we spend a lot of our time. We'd also like to keep him connected to his first name as it holds an important piece of his story as well. We might be calling him both these names for a while in the transition. We'll also likely add a family name in there too. The kid will have a lot of names.

So, a few days ago we officially entered the season of autumn. Qiu means “autumn”. His birthday is October 16^th, so he breathed his first breath in the full on autumn air. I have a feeling October will be a bittersweet month. I find myself wanting to know exactly what we were doing the day of his birth. I know when we were visiting Door County, WI for the first time in early October 2011, he was spending his last few weeks with his birth mother. I actually have my written planner from that time and so I know I had book club the day after his birth and Timmy had a guitar lesson the day before. But I don’t have much written down on Sunday October 16^th. I have no real triggers to remember that day. I’m a bit bummed about that, but it is what it is. I can remember the month…especially with the help of the pictures from Door County and that’s pretty close.

I do look at those Door County pictures and think “wow…I can’t imagine adding an infant to that mix!” Although it’s kind of amazing to look at them and know now that quite a significant little person was about to enter the world just a few days after these pictures were taken.

 

Door County October 2011

Door County October 2011

 

Washington Island, Door County October 2011



Looking forward to adding one more to the hug pile....



....and one more to the journey.

As far as logistics...we've not been informed of any significant movement on paperwork.  Still waiting for the province to move his file to Beijing. I need to daily surrender my expectations of what I was told and what I think "should" be happening. I hourly choose to fix my eyes on the everlasting and never stopping love of Jesus Christ.  It's actually an hourly choice.

I recently revisited Jeremiah 1:5 where God says “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you….” That means there has never been a time when we have NOT been known by God. When I get most frustrated about the waiting is when I think of Peng waiting. He deserves a family. My comfort comes when I remember that while Peng knows neither his birth family or his adoptive family right now, Peng has been known by his Father God for his entire life.

Markers of hope seem to help temporarily, but then I really grieve when we pass them with no forward motion....nevertheless I will put one more out.  October 2nd the Chinese celebrate a week of shopping.  I'm not kidding. Apparently it's to boost the economy and the whole government shuts down.  My heart would be thrilled if Peng's paperwork could at the very least transfer to the proper office where HIS paperwork and OURS could FINALLY be linked officially.  So, if you're inclined to petition God with us in a specific way....let's beat October 2nd.

Four names on a wall
 

 

Tough Day

It’s been a tough day for me. I had been holding off on a blog update because I was expecting the next one to be “YAY – Peng is registered!” which means…we can finally move on to the next stage of the process. I got the news this morning that it will still be another 1-2 weeks before he’s registered in China. All summer I have been hearing “soon", "probably just a few more weeks” and“not long” . I’m starting to feel a little jaded when I hear those phrases now.

We said “yes!” to Peng (pronounced “Pong”) in early June. At that time, we were under the impression it would take a few weeks to gather his file and submit it to CCWAA (China’s social welfare organization). We were told it wouldn’t be long. My idea of not long was definitely not 4 months. I believe it has come as a surprise to our agency as well.

So, the whole summer has been a series of mentally pushing back our expected travel time to get to him. Today was a zinger though. If you’ve talked with us recently, our standard line has been “We hope to get to China before Christmas”. This was within the realm of reality for good long time.  But as the weeks kept rolling on…..I decided to refigure the averages. And barring some unexpected rapid speed up of paperwork, which I guess is not impossible, but not probable, it sunk in that in all likelihood, we won’t be traveling until February 2015.

Peng turns 3 years old next month. Believe it or not, back in May, we thought there was a possibility we might actually get to him before his 3^rd birthday. Over time, since the timeline has been pushed back little by little, he’ll probably be closer to 3 ½ by the time we meet him. This may just seem like a few months and not that big of a deal in the grand scheme. For some reason, it’s all accumulated to seem like a big deal to me today.

I’ve felt like I’ve been carrying around a rock in my gut all day long. I've been trying to enjoy the moments with Jude and Annie as we’re homeschooling (which is going so well one week in, by the way) and at the same time carrying around a big sadness. It’s an odd emotion to have committed to a child and not be able to do anything to care for him. He’s ours because we’ve said ‘yes’ to him and our agency is pursuing him on our behalf. But legally, we are still in the same place we were back in June. Even though he’s legally not ours, my mama bear instincts have grown for him ever since we said we would be his parents. If any of my other kids were stuck in a system where I could not get to them I would be beating down people’s doors, relentlessly calling the powers that be and causing enough of a ruckus to get them released back into my care. But in this situation, my role is to wait. To do nothing but pray and continue on with regular life. I feel like I should be fighting to get to him. But there is nothing I can do. To be honest, I have to release him into Jesus' capable hands and then try to forget about it all or else it really starts to drive me crazy. A family willing, ready and able to care for a child who has no family. And a whole lot of paperwork that keeps a child living in institutional care for months and months more than he needs to be. It feels so wrong. I know these early years are so important. I KNOW God wants to set the lonely in families. So, why does He delay in giving Peng to our family!?

Recently, I stumbled upon this verse from the Old Testament in Habakkuk. 1:2 “How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you “Violence!” but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?”

I immediately thought… “OK, so I’m not the first one to feel this way…I have to read this book again.” So, I read Habakkuk. It’s a dialogue between Habakkuk and God while Israel is struggling to see God in the midst of their disaster and oppression. Habakkuk bares his soul to the Lord, trying to reasonably understand how God can stand back and allow such injustice. God allows Habakkuk to go on and on in his prayer, trying to figure it all out. Habakkuk cries out, in what I can only imagine is deep frustration “Why are you silent?” and “Lord, are you not from everlasting?”

Some of God’s response to Habakkuk spoke to me as well. A few key phrases from the God of the Universe…. “I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” And “Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.” And my favorite….”The Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him.”

Somehow, God can tolerate the injustice and wrongness he sees all through the world. He doesn’t wipe it away instantly as we feel He must. Instead, He walks through it with those who are hurting and IN HIS TIME and IN HIS WAY, He redeems.

When I fight this truth, I spiral into a pit of despair. But Jesus keeps calling me back to Himself. When I submit to God in this truth in faith, though I still grieve, I begin to experience a glimmer of His peace.

I was reminded a few weeks ago that there was a national epidemic of grief and sadness in the Israelite community when Pharaoh called for all the Hebrew children under age two to be killed. If our United States government called for the killing of every child under two, and sent the police out to take care of that protocol, our country would be in severe panic. Even imagining it makes me sick. So, in the MIDST of that horrific scene in Egypt, there was a lone child floating down the Nile River. A plan had already been set in motion to redeem the entire Israelite nation through that one child. As all the families were grieving the loss of their children who were not spared, God was there grieving right beside them. Simultaneously, He was on a mission to end the injustice IN HIS TIME and IN HIS WAY. Many years later, that baby Moses would lead God’s people to freedom.

I am mourning missing 3-6 more months of Peng’s life I thought we’d have together. This obviously doesn’t compare to the grief of the Israelite parents. However, it is still a loss.

Upon hearing the news this morning part of Kevin's message to me was “We need to find elements of this journey that are true and hopeful that we can cling to.”

In that spirit, we rejoice in the Lord and are joyful in God our Savior, just like Habakkuk. I don’t get it. I don’t know why things are held up. I don’t know why things have to take so long. I have to cling to what is true. God is in his holy temple. And I respect that and trust Him.  Even while I endure the sadness.

Rest well tonight sweet Peng. We are coming to you as soon as we can.

The Cabbage Patch Story

In our family, Kevin is typically the one with the reliable memory and mine is often….let’s say “scattered”. So, it’s not unusual for me to say “Hey Kevin, did you know that when I was kid…..” And he will listen patiently, then at the end say, in his non-chalant manner “yeah, you told me that story already.” You’ll note how he seems to enjoy waiting until the end of my story to inform me he’s heard it.

Well, last fall we were talking to someone and upon sharing an event from my childhood, Kevin chimed in at the end with a semi-surprised tone of voice saying something like “Hmm. I’ve never heard that story before.” I, of course, was delighted to hear I still had something left he didn’t know about me. I will do my best to share the condensed version with you as well, since there’s a good chance you have not heard it either.

It was during some time in the mid 80’s when Cabbage Patch kids were all the rage and I remember my mom asking me if I wanted one. I ended up getting one named Loretta something, with golden yarn hair that could never be in any style other than the factory produced dual braids, because no matter how hard you tried you could never figure out another style that would perfectly cover up the majority of her bald head under those original pony tails. But that’s a different conversation altogether. I can’t remember exactly how I got Loretta, Christmas/Birthday/etc., but I do remember how I got my next Cabbage Patch kid. 

We were walking though the Roses Department store toy section in Williamsburg, Virginia when I saw a pile of dented boxes with a clearance sign in front of them. As I wandered over, something in my 9 year old heart was stirred that these “children” were the ones nobody wanted. As I looked closer, these particular Cabbage Patch dolls had some issues. Something went wrong in production and they were deemed not worthy of being on the regular shelf. I remember a sense of injustice rise in me, even then, that felt it was so wrong that any “child” should be relegated to a pile in the corner to go on “clearance”.  I don’t really remember any of the other dolls, but I zeroed in on a preemie that had bleach spots all over her face. I asked my parents if I could have her, because I figured if I didn’t take her, probably no one else would. 

Fast forward almost 30 years. A husband and three children born to me later, but here we are. That yearning I believe God put on my heart so long ago looks like it finally may be fulfilled this year. At the same time, I have wrestled with a bit of guilt. During our home study, Kevin and I struggled through the ‘checklist’ of special needs we were open to and to be honest, I wondered what level of need we could really handle? We could probably “handle” anything, because we often have more resilience and love in us than we give ourselves credit for. But, I think the uncomfortable part was wondering how much a special needs child would turn our lives upside down. Doctor/therapy appointments, limited communication, limited mobility, who knows!? So, when we were introduced to Pong, we were a bit surprised. Because, besides being raised in an institution, which does/will present special challenges, he has no special physical or mental needs that we are aware of right now. And so, I have been tempted to feel guilty about this. Kevin thinks I’m crazy. Which is helpful. Honestly, it is. Because he often has such a different thought processing pattern than I do, that when his thought processing confronts mine, I sometimes realize mine may not always be helpful. 

I think I’ve worked through a lot of it, but sometimes I wonder if we should have waited longer for a more ‘needy’ child.  Sometimes thoughts pop into my mind like “Pong is so healthy, maybe we should have let a family who doesn’t have children yet parent him.” Thankfully, God intervenes in these thought patterns when I allow Him. Like today, for example. I decided to grab a book off my bookshelf called “Adopted for Life” by Russell Moore. I read it years ago, and wasn’t going to read the whole thing, but randomly opened to a page that said this… “There is no reason whatsoever for you to feel guilty, as though you are ‘taking scarce resources’ by adopting a child when there are childless couples out there seeking to adopt. First of all, a child isn’t a ‘resource.” He or she is a human being, created in the image of God. Secondly, there are more children needing homes than loving parents willing to take them in. You are not taking a child away from another prospective adoptive family. To the contrary, if the Lord does lead you to a child through adoption, this adoption could very well be a catalyst to create a more adoption friendly environment in your church and neighborhood. The very presence of your children on the playground or in the Sunday school class could make adoption less ‘strange’ to the people around you. That can only help parentless children and childless parents find one another through adoption as churches and families cooperate in the task.” pages 107-108.

WOW. The part that really got me was “First of all, a child isn’t a ‘resource’.” This isn’t about equally dividing the children with lesser needs to the childless couples and the ones with more severe to families with children already.  Why do thoughts like that even take root? God is so way more creative and beautiful in designing families than that degrading way of looking at children. I was so thankful this word of truth arrested me this afternoon.

Both Kevin and I are so sure God has presented us with this child to parent. It reminded me of the decision to get married to Kevin. It didn’t really didn’t even feel like a decision, it was just always the absolute right thing to do. I had asked God for that same level of confidence in a match with a child and I believe He granted that prayer. We actually were presented with another child before Pong and both of us just felt clearly that that little girl was not our daughter. This whole process is so bizarre, but that’s the best way I can describe it. You just ‘know’.

So, whoever Pong is, as we get to know him – he needs us and we need him. He has no bleach spots and is the most beautiful little boy in all of China, I’m sure. This isn’t about saving a child or being the martyr by taking in the most challenging child of the Asian nations. This is about following God’s call on our hearts to open our home to a child who needs a mom and dad to love him and introduce him to his Jesus.

And God is giving us Pong. 

We are SO excited!

 

 

I have to share...

At the risk of posting too many blogs in the month of July (3 is a record so far)...I just can't resist sharing some awesome news.

I checked in with our social worker, Pam, today and after going through our status and talking through a few things, I asked about "Henry" and "Yeager".  The two little boys from Pong's group at the orphanage who have not found homes yet.  I had noticed our agency had recently posted another update on Yeager, reaching out again to ask someone to step forward and call him son.  Then, when I asked about Henry, she told me he just found a family! Pam then said "You're in MN, aren't you?" When I said "yes", she said "Henry is going to MINNESOTA!"

If you read my last blog, you'd remember I asked you to pray for this exact thing.  Our agency is based in California so to have a MN family is as likely as having a family from any other state.  For some reason I was reminded of these boys every time I washed my hands this week. And so every time I've washed my hands for the past week, I have scrubbed them together and prayed hard for Pong's paperwork to keep moving forward in China and also for Henry and Yeager to find a family in Minnesota.  Some of you told me you'd pray for the boys too, so I knew I needed to share this news as soon as possible. I am so grateful.  All I know to do is to praise Jesus that He hears me and delights in giving good gifts to His children.

I don't know the exact city they live in and they're busy pulling together paperwork on their end.  But, hopefully we will connect at some point and our boys will be able to know each other.  For now, I just am overflowing with joy and thankfulness at the possibility.

If you know anyone who might be interested in praying for or pursuing this sweet boy, here is a link to more info on him...

http://missmaryssecretgarden.wordpress.com/2014/06/21/yeager/

From a logistical standpoint today, I found out we'll be waiting longer than I originally thought to officially "lock in" our little guy.  To be honest, I had hoped we'd be official by now.  But it's looking like mid-August before the paperwork is complete. But this news about Henry helped deflect the disappointment.  I am choosing to trust God's hand is protecting, nurturing and blessing our little Pong every day. It's hard to not be with him. But God is with Him and I have to fix my mind on that.

Have a wonderful week -

All those little toads

Tuesday, the kids noticed another baby toad in our yard. We decided collectively that we should release him immediately to the wetland area across the street. We all remembered from a recent, bitter experience that baby frogs don’t have much resilience when it comes to captivity from a groups of children under eight.

Upon walking across the street, we noticed another baby frog at the curb. The fingernail sized creature seemed to be trying his best to get from the creek on one side of the street, now to the wetlands on the other, but was failing miserably. I was impressed by my kids gentle coaxing and then their careful steps when the realized there were baby frogs about every 6-12 inches along the curb, all trying to get up and over it. With Timothy leading the charge, thus began our mission. 

So four kids (including a neighbor) and I methodically worked our way down the street.

“Here’s one!” “I found another one!” “This one is weally hoppy!” (that was Annie).

Every once in a while we’d find a strong one that actually made it up the side on his own. We all cheered! But we also found many discolored, lifeless toads at the corner of the curb who never quite made it and the sun had taken its toll. After about 45 minutes of this, I realized we needed to get back to the house so we could make it to our next commitment for the day. We had worked our way down the street quite a good distance and I told them we had to turn around. On the return trip, we noticed toads we had missed before and helped them up. However, that was taking a bit of time too, and I told them all we needed to hustle a little bit more. A few kids ran up ahead. But Jude lingered behind and cried out from the back “Guys! You’re going past all these!” I could hear the anguish in his sweet voice. It was so hard for him to walk away from those he knew needed help. I empathized because already I was sensing the analogy God was speaking to me. I said to Jude “We can’t save every one, honey. We can only help some of them and ask God to take care of them.”

Pong. He’s the one for us. It’s so clear. I’m so thankful. I smile every time I glance at his picture already on our wall. He’s the one stuck at the curb, just needing someone to lift him up so he can have a chance to thrive. I feel seriously privileged that within a few months he could be our son. It feels so huge and yet so small at the same time.

As we were walking back home Annie shouted “I wish I could keep ALL the fwogs in the whole woold…and then my hands would be weally big!” I heard God’s voice again in both her desire and her declaration that it would take really big hands to hold all those frogs J I know deeply that the only One who has hands big enough to hold all the children is the One I need to release them to. We are not the Savior of the orphans. He is.

So, Jesus Christ is the Savior. Acknowledge and move on? Not quite. To me, that’s the baseline. To remember God’s role. To trust Him in His role and let Him take it, because goodness knows it’s too heavy for me or any of us to carry. His Spirit is the one to open hearts to consider, move forward and ultimately offer their unconditional patience and love to a child who needs it. And He’s also the One responsible to be faithful to those who never do find a family. Starting from that place….I continue to be compelled to advocate for these kids.

Currently, I am going to ask you to pray for both Pong and also two of his little buddies. There was a group of toddlers that have pretty much grown up together as ‘brothers’ in the orphanage. A few have found homes already, but there are two that have burdened my heart as they haven’t. My bold request is to ask Jesus with me, that these two darling 3 year olds would find a family soon…and in the Twin Cities! Sometimes it’s hard for me to ask for specific prayers, because I don’t want God to “lose face” if He decides to respond with a different outcome. But, that’s up to Him. Again, knowing He can fully protect His own reputation, I want to live into His request to petition His heart with what is on mine.  

The boys have been named “Yeager” and “Henry” by our agency (for simplicity) and I think it would be such an amazing blessing if Pong, Yeager and Henry could grow up in the same area, with the potential for a friendship that could bless them for years to come. They will have lost so many links to their past. If they had each other, maybe they can stay linked to each other. I found this prayer many years ago by Rodney Bennet and it fits as an intercession for Pong, Yeager, Henry and all those in need of His Father love. Seems like a good place to start….

Gentle Jesus, King of Kings, yet the Lord of little things.

Though but young and small I be, from Thy glory smile on me.

“I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you” – Jesus

(John 14:18)

No significant updates.  As of now, we are full on in “wait” mode. A good time to pray.
Blessings on your week!

An Announcement....from the Hubers'

Kevin here.  One tradition we have established in our family is that when a child has been added to our family, I have had the privilege of announcing the addition.  I’d like to think this tradition has been given to me because of my announcing skills…nevermind that Courtney has been somewhat incapacitated in past experiences, I’d just like to think that it's my skills.  So here I am to share some news about our newest parenting adventure. 

Lord willing, in the year 2014, our family will celebrate the addition of a little boy to our crew.  He is currently 2 ½ years old and goes by "Pong".  He is 20 months younger than Annie who is 20 months younger than Jude who is 22 months younger than Timmy.  I guess we have a bit of a pattern going on here.  The folks from our agency had a chance to meet him when they were visiting China in May and establishing a partnership with his orphanage.  Courtney was on the phone with the director for an hour talking about him and hearing how much they enjoyed spending time with him.  After hearing about their interactions with "Pong", I immediately imagined him sitting at the ‘craft table’ in our backroom working on one of many art projects.  Suddenly, the daunting concept of the matching process was daunting no more. 

Our journey begins by waiting.  Waiting that will likely be measured in months and we would like to believe those months will go by quickly.  We are very close to being paper ready.  "Pong" is also close to being paper ready.  When everyone is paper ready, then we will be officially matched.  We hope this will happen in July.  Once we are officially matched, then our paperwork needs to be circulated through a number of important avenues before we will be able to travel to China.  We have been told that hopefully late this fall we can make the trip to officially make him part of our family. 

There are more details to share, but until the paperwork is officially logged in, we have been advised to be conservative with what we publicly post or #hashtag. 

And so, we walk in a space where there is tension between our desire to welcome this little guy into our family and our reality that paperwork needs to be processed before we can experience the life and energy of this little guy as part of our family.  So we wait patiently and we wait with a great deal of anticipation.  

Psalm 68:6.....God sets the lonely in families....

 

 

Changes in China. Changes in us.

Some of you knew our family during my first pregnancy.  It was in 2006 and some of you even came to baby showers for me. Blessing us with beautiful dresses and handmade pink blankets and all the fuss that comes with the announcement of a baby girl on the way.  For those of you who didn't know us, we had an ultrasound at the typical 20 week mark and they assured us we were having a bouncing baby girl.  Thankfully, with that pregnancy I had no complications and had no further ultrasounds and it was only upon delivery that Timothy made his grand entrance. There he was in all his boy-ness, stunning all of us and giving himself quite the unique birth story.

You may have noticed in these blogs that we've been referring to our newest addition as a little girl.  We have felt strongly that a girl would be a good fit for our family at this point.  There were many thoughts that brought us to this, partly because we have a 3 bedroom house - 2 boys in a room, 2 girls in a room makes sense. Timothy and Jude have each other, Annie and a little girl could have a sweet sisterhood. With the possible struggles of identity and adoption in the future, I envisioned having 'girl talks' with a little lady as we faced it together.  We talked about this with our agency and they said it was perfectly fine that we specified a gender and we'd move forward with that in mind. My mom and I even spent a whole day picking out some beautiful fabric for her quilt from Grandma Sue.

On May 29, our agency director had been back in the States a few days and reached out to me with a personal update from their time in China.  She said both she and her colleague were quite surprised, but have been noticing a new pattern in China.  This a piece of her note to me. "The partnership orphanage is a wonderful one and they had lots of little ones with minor needs. Unfortunately as I am seeing with most of the orphanages is that there are hardly any girls available.... If you were open to boys there were lots of little boys, some that are essentially healthy."

This was a shocker.  I also noticed a familiar feeling in my gut.  It reminded me of the day we met Timothy.  I was very delighted that day. He was out, he was beautiful and I was holding my first born child. At the same time, I also was conflicted because I was confused and simultaneously grieving a little girl I had been talking to, praying for and who had a whole bunch of washed and hanging girly clothes in her closet.  I was supposed to be her mom and I didn't know where she was.  It was unsettling and sad, to be honest. After about 24 hours or so, I was able to come to a new peace with it all.  Somehow my brain just needed time to process that she never existed and so it was really my imagination that needed to let her go and embrace my son.  The son living and breathing and needing me now.  Over the next few weeks I would grieve her on and off, but as I grew to know Timothy more and more that grief was able to resolve into joy. Timothy was the one God had knit together and placed in our family and that was a good thing.

When I read our directors email, I had that same feeling of grief I had that first day we found out we were having a first born boy instead of the girl we had been told.  My heart cried "Again?" Where is the little girl we've been thinking of so often and planning rooming arrangements for? Going throughout my day tears would well up as it felt like she might be slipping away.  Over the weekend Kevin and I processed our motives for desiring a girl.  We tried to visualize it a future with a girl and for the first time tried to visualize a future with a little boy. We prayed.

One of my main concerns was that we had been praying for "little sister" for months with the kids. I decided to casually run it by them...."Hey guys....what would think if we ended up having a little brother instead of a little sister?" Bracing for a backlash, Timothy and Annie, hardly looking up from the projects they were working on, said respectively "That would be OK" and "That's fine".

Jude was a little resistant at first. He has a little friend Edith (2 years old) who he adores and he mentioned how he wanted a girl like Edith in our family. He also liked the idea of having the same number of girls as boys. But throughout the day, we talked a little it about how we're learning that many of the girls have homes, but some of the boys need families.Within a few hours he said he'd be OK with a little brother....as long as he's cute.

In the end, Kevin and I couldn't seem to come up a reason big enough to justify passing by a little boy who was waiting in an orphanage, needing a family. This isn't really about crafting the family we think is ideal. Our motives for adopting are to give a child a home who wouldn't otherwise have one. If the boys are the ones who need homes most right now, then let's be open to boys.

There is still a chance that we could be matched with a girl.  There are for sure a few that need homes.  However, it's looking like our chances of having another dose of testosterone in the house are rising.  I have already loved being mom to two little boys and know how much fun they can be.  Annie will be a strong young lady and will know how to hold her own :)

You may be wondering....why the sudden shift? China is typically known for their preference for boys and their abandonment of girls.  From our agency staff, as well as a workshop we attended online, we have heard these potential reasons.  There are more ultrasounds in China than in the 1990's and early 2000's. There are also more abortions. Gender selective abortion is not legal, but still happens.  The one child policy is still official, but much less enforced than it used to be.  China is growing in wealth, and many people are able to pay the fines to have more than one child.  Our agency staff said they had never seen so  many families with young girls out and about in the city streets as they did on this trip.  There is also a growing acceptance of domestic adoptions, so many of the healthy girls are being placed in Chinese families. This is a very good thing.  Adoption has been a topic of shame in the past for China, and the door is opening to shed light on the beauty and acceptance of it.

My own personal hope is that the value of women is being understood and appreciated in a new way. The historical gender roles of a man's intrinsic worth and a woman's intrinsic lack of worth are not as rooted as they once were. In many parts of China, women are being sent to college and can make money to help support her family. It's also not all about working the field as it used to be.

So, all that said....maybe all of this doesn't sound like a big deal, but it's a bit of a mindset switch for us.  Probably mostly for me :) Mr. Flexibility seemed to make the transition pretty easily. And now I'm pretty excited.  Just like I was upon meeting Timothy.

On the logistical side, it feels like a long time coming, but our dossier is finally headed to China either tomorrow or Wednesday.  In about two weeks, we've been told we'll have a "Log In Date".  This date is the fantastic date that tells us China has approved us to adopt a child and we can now start the matching process.Would you pray with our family, as we now pray for " little sibling"? We are hopeful that early this summer we will be matched and be able to see the face of the next Hubers family member.

What to dwell on

Well, we’re coming off a fabulous Memorial Day weekend. We were able to rent a cabin at Timber Bay Camp north of the Twin Cities and enjoy a lot of good time together as a family of five. We enjoyed identifying the beautiful wildflowers, noticing the many fun creatures around us, feeding the horses,  impromptu hanging out by the lake, hiking to the frog bog, kayaking with the kids for the first time, cooking hotdogs and marsh mellows over the fire and even witnessing a mama eagle teaching her young one to fly. I didn't have my camera with me most of the time, but did capture a few moments....

 

Now that I’ve painted a picture perfect weekend and you’re all going “aww…that sounds so amazing and wonderful!” Let me continue.

We enjoyed gathering bouquets of wildflowers until we realized some were protected species and we probably should leave them alone. Every once in a while we’d hear Annie shriek in pure terror at seeing mosquitos land on her arm,  run to her and try to calm her and convince her it was OK not go home yet. You can also imagine the parental mood while monitoring three young children excitedly surrounding a raging campfire while randomly tripping over rocks and holding long, sharp, wooden, and metal objects.  All this while trying to actually get some dinner prepared. Then watching the boys get their hopes up to go fishing with some new friends, only to have them dashed and in tears because the line they were given was all tangled and unusable. We were constantly checking each other for ticks, peeling off leeches from various body parts and to top it off having a frog get lost in our fully packed van while and attempting to find it while swatting at zillions of mosquitos who had decided to swarm us at that exact moment in time.

 

So, when asked to describe our weekend, we have the option to describe it either as the first paragraph or the second. Or of some combination of them both. It seems life is usually some crazy and unpredictable blend of both. However, I do think we have to make a choice as to which description we choose to dwell on.

As I write this, our agency Director and another staff are probably preparing to head back to the States from their two weeks in China. We have heard no news personally from them, just a general update that the relationship and partnership with the orphanage is official and so very soon, we will be hearing about specific children who need families.

On that note, our agency has asked us to make it known their China program is growing and as of now they have more children assigned to them than they have homes for. I know adoption is not for everyone. I know it’s a call not on everyone's heart. I also think it IS a call on some of our hearts.  I also believe God gives us stepping stones in our path towards the answering of the call. In a spirit of respect for every one’s individual journey, today I’m praying for a stepping stone in the journey towards adoption in at least one of your paths.  As you’ve followed our story so far, or others you know, if there is a stirring within you at all, please do not ignore it. Just stop reading this blog, pray and ask the Creator and Savior of the universe…. “How do you want to use me/us to be a blessing? Is it to take in one of your orphans as our own?” Then listen to His heart. I would love to hear from you and pray for you.

Adoption is not going to be a walk in the park. I’ve read the books. I’ve heard the stories from families gone before us.  There will be shrieks of terror, lost frogs in the van, sharp objects around the fire and making mistakes of picking the wrong flowers. Sometimes when I think about these things, all the potential challenges and heartaches of the future, I can get a bit worried.  Even a little scared.  Can we handle this emotionally? Do we have enough support? But, we do feel led this far, so I have to trust God will provide for our needs as a family.  Why would He bring us this far and abandon us? And while I cognitively know hard times are likely coming, I want to choose to dwell on the other side of adoption. The side where I get to see another child take her first kayak ride by herself when she’s always been too afraid to leave my side for fear I will not be there when she comes back. The side where our daughter takes a minute to notice a beautiful wildflower because she has spent her entire life within a very small radius of God’s beautiful world. And the part where I get to point up high, showing her the mama eagle as she takes her baby eagle out for a glide over the water and talk about how I will always be her mom and take care of her just like that mama eagle is taking care of her baby in the sky.

We hope your Memorial Day weekend was filled with many moments to dwell on!

 

 

Psalm 146 

Praise the Lord! Yes, really praise him! 

I will praise him as long as I live, yes, even with my dying breath.
Don’t look to men for help; their greatest leaders fail;  for every man must die.

His breathing stops, life ends, and in a moment all he planned for himself is ended. 

But happy is the man who has the God of Jacob as his helper, whose hope is in the Lord his God— the God who made both earth and heaven, the seas and everything in them.

He is the God who keeps every promise,  who gives justice to the poor and oppressed and food to the hungry.

He frees the prisoners  and opens the eyes of the blind; he lifts the burdens from those bent down beneath their loads.

For the Lord loves good men. 

He protects the immigrants and cares for the orphans and widows.

But he turns topsy-turvy the plans of the wicked.

The Lord will reign forever. O Jerusalem^, your God is King in every generation! Hallelujah!

Praise the Lord!