The beginning.




It's hard not to smile when looking at that face, don't you think?

We are a week home and are officially thrown full back into toddlerhood. This while managing the older three recouping from our long time away, helping Annie process that someone else just took her 'spot', Kevin figuring out how to catch up at work, me trying to find out what in the world we can all eat and enjoy, helping everyone stay safe, and just staying on top of the regular 'stuff' of running a home, trying to be attuned to everyone's needs....it's a lot. I'm not going to lie. Even that we finished mowing the lawn yesterday was a small miracle. Some would describe this as "survival mode". Much has changed for everyone, but especially for Ben. And for us, some things are familiar in parenting him and some things are new, because of how he spent his first three years.

From professionals in the field, we've heard anything from "it seems manageable at a month, but then hits the fan around month 6" to "the first three months are horrible" to "the first 3-6 months are REALLY, REALLY hard". All of those have the common denominator that this summer and fall are likely to be like nothing we've experienced before. With summer bringing on less routine, more options, access to wide open spaces and a new little man trying to figure out his new world...I'm probably the only Minnesotan wishing it were winter right now. We are needing Jesus more than we ever have before.

Jude, Timmy and Annie have been such amazing big siblings. I couldn't be prouder of them. They share with him, play with him, help keep him safe as well as carry him off randomly to be 'SuperBen'. Being Ben's big brothers and big sister will take a learning curve for them as well and they are willing to walk the road. We are asking a lot of them and they are learning how to love both when it's easy and when it's hard. We can only pray that they will see Jesus' sacrifice for them more clearly after having sacrificed so much for their new brother. 

Four kids jumping

So, we started this blog with the intention of sharing the specifics of how our adoption process was progressing as well as share insights into adoption related topics with you, our friends and family who care about us.  From here on out, both Kevin and I are sensing that the best avenue for future conversations regarding our family and adoption would be best done in a more personal format. Now, actually finding space for those personal conversations will be a monumental feat! Also, know that we are open to talking to anyone at all even remotely interested in potentially exploring the possibility of adopting.

Which reminds me...many of you prayed for and passed along a blog post I wrote last summer about a little boy named "Yeager" in trying to find him a home. We got to meet him while we were in China! Sweet boy, with a mom and dad working hard to get to him from Illinois. It was such a joy to take some videos and pictures for them as I know I would have treasured those if anyone would have been able to take them for us. I'll be so excited when he finally gets home too.

So, with all this said, I'm guessing that this may be our last blog post. I'll keep the blog out there for a while in case there is anything we've posted in the last year and a half that is worth reading again. Feel free to still forward to anyone connected to an adoptive family if you think it would be encouraging. Everything we have learned has been from people who have gone before us. We also would love to meet other families who have recently adopted from China who live in the Twin Cities or other Chinese Americans as well. We want to expand our circles of friends as well as attempting to keep Ben connected to his birth culture. Feel free to connect us if you know of anyone!

I know I've mentioned we need to be in 'cacoon mode' for a while to keep Ben's world small and for him to feel secure within his new family unit. But please feel free to reach out to our family. Even if it's just to send us a note letting us know you prayed for us. Invite us to stuff and we'll discern on a case by case/day by day situation if it would be a good idea or not. It all goes a long way to help us remember we're not alone. Thank you to those of you who have brought meals to my parents while we were gone and to us this week so far. Your extra effort on our behalf is beyond appreciated.

We are thankful to be starting this new season and getting to know this really great kid. We already see a lot of good things blossoming in him. The Lord has not abandoned this little one. 

As I type this I have him in a toddler carrier on my back and he's actually fallen asleep.  Jude and Annie are playing a game together and we're about to head out to pick up Timothy from school. This is a rare quiet moment these days. A chance to take a breath. In. Out. In. Out. One day at a time. His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3

We are confident the Lord laid this calling to adopt Ben on our hearts. It becomes clearer as we get to know him that he is a wonderful fit into our family. That affirms our faith even more in our amazing God. We are standing on our Redeemer's promises of faithfulness to all of us for the days and years to come. We are safe in His Hands and there we will be sustained.

Thank you for celebrating with us what He has done!

Psalm 82:3 Defend the weak and the fatherless;
uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.

Goodbye to China

Tonight Ben is a citizen of China. Tomorrow, as soon as we touch ground in Chicago, he becomes a U.S. Citizen and life will never be the same.

 

Earlier this evening we said good bye to our new friends and Ben's old friends. It was emotional for me to think of them not seeing each other every day anymore. But I am SO thankful we've had this two week transition time for them to still connect on a daily basis. As loud and crazy as it was during that 'connecting' time, I am really glad we took this journey with these other families. We share a special bond with them now after experiencing all of this together.

 

We are trying to head to bed early tonight as we have a huge travel day tomorrow. Again, we are scheduled to arrive in Minneapolis at 5:23pm and are planning to meet my parents, Kevin's dad and our kids at the United baggage claim number 11 after that. I'm almost positive on that - if not - there are only a handful of United Baggage claims and they're all right next to each other :) If you're close by and want to join our family, feel free. Disclaimer we have no idea what shape we'll be in, but it would be fun to give you a quick introduction to this little man.

 

As we are ready to head home, I'll just share a few more random pictures of our time in China. It's a fascinating culture and country and I'm sure we'll be learning a lot more about it as the years go on. But for now, it's time to say good-bye and to welcome Ben to the U.S.!

In front of the U.S. Consulate to get our Visa for Ben to travel home!

View from the roof of our hotel in Guangzhou

 

Ben and Jackson, who is headed to sunny CA, lucky guy.   

Girl studying outside her family's street side pet store

Organizing merchandise on the road side

The 'over 50' crowd's common pastime...hackysack. You should really see the video.

Amazing spindly trees lining the streets everywhere in Guangzhou. Maybe this is a Ficus?

The man who tried to sell us this puppy.

Ben thoroughly enjoys all things moving. Cars, vans, escalators and pictured here...the elevator.



Ben being a rock star at his medical appointment.

One of a zillion bead stores.

Bikes of all kinds are EVERYWHERE.

The burial site of the Founder of Modern China....I'll have to get back to you on his name.

Garbage day.

Ben's buddy Sophie who is heading to MN as well!

Strolling the streets of Nanjing.

Real men wear toddlers.

Bubbles speak every language.
 

See you soon!



Adoption Insights

So, I have been reading adoption related books since 1999. Kevin has been hearing adoption related thoughts vicariously through me since we met. I've attended countless seminars, worked in a few different adoption related arenas and we have some great friends who have gone before us who have taught us as well.  All that and we're still a bit overwhelmed :)

I think having a plan, in parenting, is half the battle. At least it is for us. When we just go into 'react' mode, it all starts to unravel. They kids will lead every time. Being proactive with knowing why we're doing what we're doing helps us stay consistent for what our vision is for family life. I thought I'd just take a moment to share a few of the basics of adoption family life might look like in the near future, so in case we cross paths in the upcoming months and you're curious....you can have a glimpse into why we're doing what we're doing.

"How come you aren't around more?"
Well, the first way to help a newly adopted child adjust to his/her new family is to limit stimulation. There is enough internal stimulation as well as simply being in a completely different culture with completely new caregivers. Time will tell how much we are out and about this summer, but as much as we can simplify our life, we will try to do so.  Here as we're in China, we have a bit of down time and there have definitely been times where Ben is ready to go out on the next adventure. We can typically tell because he puts his backpack on and stands by the door. So, he seems to not mind TOO much being out and about. It'll just be one big experiment as to how much is the right amount.

"Why do you feed him when he can feed himself?"
The orphanage director was very proud that all the kids can feed themselves. She told us so. Usually this is a sign of success. In an institution, it's almost a necessity and high priority just for efficiency's sake. The problem is that many kids learned to be independent TOO soon. Feeding is a basic bonding opportunity. Infants receive nourishment from their mothers and it triggers all those 'feel good' hormones that are a baseline for attaching to her. When we feed Ben, we are trying to engage some of those same hormones and simulate that type of experience for him. Overall, we want meal time to be a happy experience, so if he is adamant about feeding himself, we will let him participate. This has definitely happened. But we'll still try to sneak a few bites in as much as we can.  And we try other ways to connect during meal time, like making a lot of eye contact as he's chewing.  We also, need to be the ONLY source of food for him for a good 6-12 months.  So, while it is kind for others to offer our children lollipops or treats or drinks or anything....we really need him to receive those things from us as we're laying this foundation.

"He's 3.5, he can walk....why do you carry him?"
It is highly unlikely that Ben, or any other child raised in an institution received enough holding as a baby. Carrying him not only helps him start to feel comfortable in that intimate position, it also helps his vestibular system develop in areas where it may be lacking. Adjusting to keep his body positioning helps him become more aware of his body, which he is in need of becoming. We also carry him because he runs :) And we honestly don't know if he'd come back to try to find us.

"Come here and let me hold you!"
Ben is pretty cute. I will warn you. He's even cuter in person. So, there might be some tempted to pick him up and kiss his cheeks.  This again, is an intimate experience we want reserved for our family for the time being. High fives, waving hello, big smiles, a pat on the back are all appropriate ways to interact with him. We do need to keep the snuggles limited to our immediate family for a while.

"He's almost four, but you treat him like a baby. Why is that?"
It is said that for every 3 months in an orphanage, a child loses one month development. So, while he turns four in October, he is more like a 2 1/2 year old at this point. It has only been a few years since we've been out of toddlerhood at the Hubers home, but I guess I'd gotten used to it. Ben is bringing back all the memories and adding more!  We are also trying to re-do a few steps in his development that he may have missed. He will be able to pass through these developmental stages more quickly, but we need to make sure he gets to pass through them. I learned all about brain plasticity and how children are able to do this when I worked at the Attachment Center during my pregnancy with Timothy. They taught me good stuff. For example, today he was fussy and Kevin rocked and held him until he fell asleep. We don't know if he got that as a baby. He needed to, so we'll make sure he gets it with us. That cycle of distress and finding comfort in us is one we'll be practicing together for a while.

"He's so naughty, why don't you put him in time-out?
Some of the typical parenting strategies backfire with children from high stress backgrounds. When Ben misbehaves, isolating him in a time out risks communicating to him that when he makes poor choices, we will leave him. Our hope is to keep him in time-ins. We can sit quietly, take a break, but be together. As language develops, we can use our words to describe what happened and what needs to happen in the future. Discipline is going to be an ongoing learning experience. Just as it is with our other three. We will probably have mastered it all just as they're turning 18.

In general, we're trying to engage him with a lot of Ping-Pong back and forth games. Mostly when we're in the hotel room together. Things that have him interacting with us in a positive way. Or when he's not interested, just Kevin and I playing back and forth games and hopefully enticing him in. He seems to be falling for it most of the time :)

Thanks again for your love and support. It's going to be a wild summer. And it will be hard for us to ask for help as we know people are so very busy. However, I'm going to swallow my pride right now and put a link out there again to a meal train that a friend set up for us. It would be such a gift to have as much help as possible in this arena. No pressure, seriously. Only if you are able.  https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/w7y137

I'll leave you with my new favorite picture.

Ben often sleeps with his arms behind his head. This was the first time he fell asleep like that on me. Happy Mama.

Plane ride, Medical visit, Down time

Much has happened since our last update. Namely, we left Nanjing for Guangzhou and that means Ben has officially taken his first plane ride. He was a rock star. Waiting is not one of his specialties, so the time BEFORE boarding was a challenge. However, traveling in a moving vehicle is a strongpoint of his, so the actual trip was terrific. There was one point where the pilot announced we would be waiting to take off for at least another two plus hours (then the flight was two hours as well). I think I was in shock. They started serving drinks and I think I couldn't even process the potential chaos that might ensue if that actually happened. Then, all of a sudden within 10-15 minutes, they quickly pulled the carts back and said to buckle up. We were off! We still have no idea what happened, but I just thanked the Lord for his mercy on us. Ben slept most of the trip, so it was all quite peaceful.

Ben is signing "wait a minute". We do a lot of waiting here, so this helps us communicate.
Oh, and it was really sunny. Can you tell?
 

Ben reviewing the airplane safety protocols before take off.

This morning was our doctor appointment. Since all adoptive families funnel out of the city of Guangzhou, we met up with many other families that were in other provinces meeting their children last week. It was uplifting to see so many children in the arms of their new parents today where this time last week they were orphans. It still amazes me.

Thankfully Ben's appointment went really smoothly. We had to visit a few different stations. At one of the stations, the doctor asked him (in Mandarin) if he liked to be called "Peng, Peng". With a straight face he shook his head 'no'. Then she asked him if he liked to be called "Qiu Peng" and again with a straight face, this time he nodded "yes". The doctor chuckled, then translated for me. I asked if "Peng, Peng" would be for babies and she nodded and confirmed he did not want to be a baby. Our tough guy.

The worst station is when they do the blood draw for TB. I guess the U.S. requires it before entry into the country. One day last week, Ben had a tiny paper cut type wound on a finger and he cried and cried. I'm sure it didn't feel good. He kept showing us throughout the day and we put a Band-Aid on it and kissed it many times.  Then, during play that day he didn't use that hand for the whole day. He kept it sort of raised up high. It actually slowed him down, so Kevin and I didn't really mind :) Then, today he gets a needle stuck in his arm, watches the blood be sucked from his vein and doesn't even shed a tear. Again, so much mystery in this little guy. Afterwards, all the kids were showing each other their Band-Aids, as if to compare battle scars. Misery loves company, they say. Lots of pampering today for these kiddos.

There were a few times nurses were having a terrible time getting the veins and one little girl that was not with our group, was in the room for probably over an hour. They poked her so many times, and so many different places. They had about 6 staff in there, plus the head physician. We all felt sick about it. They finally got what they needed, but that little girl went through a lot today. She is just a skinny little peanut, probably 2 years old or so. If you feel prompted to pray, pray for Hope. And her dad, it was rough on him too.

Otherwise, this afternoon we just finished up a very fun game of 'find the monkey'. I hide him in our room and Kevin and Ben go behind a wall until I say "OK".  This game lasted a good 45 minutes. Good "parent juice" as they call it. When we give and receive some smiles and appropriate behavior back. This gives us stamina to press through the tougher moments when we are giving all we have and receiving nothing in return.  I am sure the monkey game will see a reprise. Probably even tonight, if Ben has anything to say about it.

We have locked safes in our hotel room and when you enter the code wrong three times it makes a beeping noise. Ben was very successful at entering wrong codes, so when he got the beeping sound, he considered it a wonderful achievement. I was able to capture a few expressions of this game a few days ago. He's quite a guy.

 

 

And if you're wondering how the kids at home are doing...it sounds like well. We miss them a ton and talk about them with Ben all the time. He calls them "Teemy, Jude AHHHH, and Amy" I think he will enjoy meeting them in a few days.  We have been able to Skype home almost every day, so we are thankful for that touching base point. My mom and dad seem to be having the time of their lives (right mom and dad!?) and their puppy Gracie probably just thinks she's the center of the universe.  Fun quote from the home front the other day by Jude.

 

"First we'll go to Good Times, then to the zoo, then to Mall of America, then dig a tunnel to China and surprise Mom and Dad in the middle of the night."  There's a brief pause, then he asks,  "Grandma Sue, how much cash did you bring?"

We're thankful for our time here, but are starting to really get the bug to come home. Last logistical piece is just to get a visa to get this guy out of the country. We're getting closer!

Orphanage visit



Yesterday was our visit to Ben's former orphanage. It was about a two hour drive in a van.  The kids were quite calm, actually. There are no car seats for these guys and keep telling them not to get used to it. But I'm pretty sure they don't understand.

 

I don't even know how to describe the day. Maybe this picture of Ben on the ride home describes it best. 

Kevin holding Ben on the van ride home

 

He got that little scrape on his head after falling down upon his first 'run around' back at the orphanage. Not a great way to start the day, but he did run to both Kevin and I to show us. We were glad for that.  Upon first arrival at the orphanage, we were welcomed to a lunch with the director. Great food - we even tried 'Lotus root' for the first time. The Director explained that the Chinese government gives a stipend to orphanages for each child they have in their facility, so many do not want to make the children available for adoption. But she feels it is a better 'destiny' to have them in a family. So, she said that day now we are like family.

 

They do the best they can there, but the Director is right....nothing is as good as belonging to a family. As we walked to the rest of the orphanage after lunch, Ben was in Kevin's arms and showed no interest in getting down. He stayed there for the majority of the visiting time. The ending got pretty crazy as some administrative details not pertaining to our adoptions had to transpire. It was actually our social worker gathering data on 15 more children to find homes for. Let me know if you want me to pass any of their information on to any of you!

In the classroom with one of Ben's caregivers. She has known him since he arrived there as an infant.

We were able to walk the grounds, ask a lot of questions and as difficult as it was, on many levels to be there, I am glad we got to see where he has lived the first part of his life. We took lots of pictures and even a few notes from his caregivers. It was difficult to communicate, but we did the best we could. We also got his baby picture! I was so excited they had this. Many children in institutions do not have pictures of themselves so young. They also sent us home with a few toys from the orphanage. One is a talking man, with a removable hat, who apparently is a popular Chinese children's show character. Ben has latched on to that guy, for today at least.

 

This day brought out the most diverse and intense of emotions yet for all three of us. The other families agreed. Tonight as I write this Ben is sleeping and our prayer for him the past few days would be that God speaks to him what is true. Even in his confusion and our limits in communication right now, that the truth that he is safe and loved would be clear in his mind and heart.  As we were getting close to the facility our translater and facilitator spoke to the kids saying "We are going back to say good-bye to your friends, but you will leave and stay with your mommy and daddy....do you understand?" I saw Ben's eyes fixed on her as she talked and at the end he nodded.

 

We are thankful we've been able to blog and communicate with some of you from China. We weren't sure if we'd be able to. But there are a few things make it difficult to blog too much here. First of all our internet and VPN (which allows us to be on Facebook and BlogSpot in China) are spotty. So, sometimes I try and it's not working. And second of all, it's pretty much impossible to type on a computer when Ben is awake. He's a very active little boy and loves buttons so much he can hardly stand it not to push everyone he sees. So, imagine his excitement at a laptop keyboard.  All that said, we like updating you all as much as we can!

 

As I close out today, I'll try to give a quick glimpse of what we've learned so far about our boy.

He loves order. When our shoes are out of place, he makes sure they are all lined up properly. When a bit of rice falls off our fork as we feed him, instead of putting the rice in his mouth, he puts it back on the fork.  He is so bright. He has learned a few signs in baby sign language that have helped us communicate. When he needs help, he signs it. When he needs to be patient, we say 'wait a minute' and sign it. He also does this to us, for instance, when he's chewing and he's not ready for the next bite. When he bangs something really loudly or yells out, we show him how to bang or talk softly and often he imitates. He has learned probably at least a dozen English words already. Some he says, some he just understands. Today's new one was 'monkey'. Sometimes he even says 'monkey, monkey', in a really low voice. It's pretty funny.

 

I'll leave you with this little introduction to our guy via video.  We took it right before bed tonight. I hope the video works! If so, enjoy!

 

 

Adoption Day

Yesterday, May 12, 2015 Ben officially became our son. We traveled back to the office where we met him and we signed the final paperwork to complete the adoption. That's it folks. Only a year and a half and the paperwork is finished! Although God has been weaving him into our family's hearts LONG before today :)

Picture from our official Adoption Certificate

The big bus came to get us again and when Ben saw it from the lobby, he could hardly withstand his excitement. I had to wonder if he thought we were going back to his orphanage and he was ready to do that? or if he really just liked the bus. I have a feeling we'll be doing a lot of wondering what's going on inside his little mind for many years to come.

The procedure was done in full toddler chaos as all five families with new children were all in the same room, trying to keep track of their kids, prevent disasters and sign on the dotted line at the same time simultaneously. The coolest part was probably that we had to put a red thumb print next to our signatures. Even Ben got to stamp his thumb. Except he didn't think it was that cool. In fact, he was adamant we wash it off right away.

Remember when I said Ben must understand we don't speak the same language, so he mostly grunts and points? Never mind that. I shouldn't be so quick to think I know what he's thinking. I can only report the facts. The fact is that after day one....he's been a little chatterbox. He has the cutest little voice and he repeats himself, so we have been able to figure out a few of his normal phrases.  The Chinese word for 'done'  is one that has been helpful to know. And also 'watermelon'. This boy loves his watermelon. He's trying out a few more English phrases too.  We've read that there will often be a silent period after he starts losing his first language. Time will tell. But for now, he seems to be OK repeating back a few words.

We've also noticed he loves his shoes. They look really new, so we're wondering if he just got them recently. He really does not like to take them off, even at bedtime. So, for now...he's sleeping with his shoes on. I did pray he'd come with a 'transitional object' of sorts. I probably should have been more specific that I'd have preferred a cleaner one.

Yesterday we also tried out our toddler pack carrier for the first time. I was really hoping he'd like it, or at least not kick and scream. He's taken really well to Kevin, so we decided to let Kevin try carrying him first. He went in no problem as we walked with him for a walk around the mall. Then, this morning when we were ready to walk around again a bit, I pulled out the carrier, he got a huge smile on his face, ran to Kevin and held his arms up. I couldn't have asked for a better way to start the day.

Ben and Kevin making duck noises at each other

In the spirit of full disclosure, we have started to experience a few tougher moments. Moments where it is obvious that institutional care is not God's plan and every child suffers, no matter how 'great' the orphanage is.  Kevin and I have decided that this blog out there on the world wide web is not the venue for sharing details on these harder moments. It's not that we want to sugar coat adoption or make it look like every think is perfect. It's an effort to respect Ben's privacy on the internet. But, we did want to share that we've started to experience reality.  And God is proving to be right here in the midst of it with us.

Introducing....

 

Benjamin QiuPeng-Harris Hubers

 

Today was a day equal in awe to the days Timothy, Jude and Annie were born. We were prepared for the worst, but hoping for the best and here we are not even 24 hours in and we are completely head over heels for this little guy.

And his new name will be Ben! We have so many wonderful people in our life with this name, so it has only good associations. It sounded so much like Peng to begin with that we thought it would be a good transition. It's always been on our list of options ever since we were pregnant with Timmy, so it seemed like now was the time. So far, we're having a hard time pronouncing his Chinese name. It hasn't really been "Pong", as we've heard his caregivers say it. It's more like "Pung", but with a down and up inflection. So, we've been trying versions of that with different inflections to see if we can get him to respond to us. Every once in a while we seem to nail it and he looks. Otherwise, for the most part he is a BUSY little guy!

We arrived at Civil Affairs and they said the buses with the kids would be 30-40 minutes late because of the rain. Two children were coming from Wuxi and three were coming from Yangzhou. A few of us stepped out to use the bathroom. I was last. When I came back the two kids from Wuxi were already there meeting their parents!

Well, then the rest of us were on pins and needles waiting for the Yangzhou van. After 15 minutes or so, it pulled in. We have video of Peng getting out of the van with his caregivers. It was a surreal experience.

After they walked in, without a second thought, they marched the kids in right past us to go straight to the bathroom. We all laughed as we thought that was a marvelous idea!

Peng's caregiver brought him to us, set him on our lap and told him to give each of us a kiss. They gave us his picture book, the audio book we had recorded and the disposable camera we'd sent. After that we spent about an hour getting to know him and filling out paperwork. A lot was a blur, but the overwhelming impression of the experience was....amazing.  He is a beautiful child and we cannot believe he is ours to raise.  What an honor.

He was pretty reserved at first, but as the day progressed, he started showing more and more personality. At dinner he was a stitch, in a very subtle way. He reminded me so much of Kevin in the first video we saw him last May and I can still see it now.

He has spoken some Chinese phrases, but the kid seems already aware that we don't understand, so there is a lot of grunting and pointing. He's already tried to say "watermelon", "more" and "where's baba?" Incredible. He has engaged with some back and forth games - like switching a sticker from Kevin's nose to my nose, back to Kevin's, back to mine and we've played lightsaber sword fights with our chopsticks. He LOVES my sunglasses and wears them or is putting them on top of his head. It's the most adorable thing ever. Then he puts them in our backpack and goes to the backpack to get them periodically (for all my adoption friends out there....object permanence!) He loves buttons. He has switched the lights off/on abundant times and if he could sit with the remote changing channels on the TV, he'd be set for the day. He was a bit upset when we decided it was time to wrap up that game. But he's pretty easily distractible at this point.

As I type this, he still sleeping in our bed - head at the bottom, as he's squirmed his way into various positions all through the night, but has slept through them all. Rough days will come, but this first day has been a sweet gift.

Thank you for all your love and support and for joining us in the journey.

It's a miraculous experience to be a part of.

The journey begins in 8 hours

We're in Nanjing now, the capital city of Peng's province. The bullet train from Shanghai went 300 km/hour and the Chinese man sitting next to us wanted to make sure we knew how fast we'd be going! He was quite conversational and, like most here, was a bit shocked to hear we are adding a 4th child to our family. He was vulnerable with us in sharing he and his wife have one, but are considering paying the fine in order to have another. He said the fine varies for different incomes, but their governmental fine would be about $25K. Another realization not to take for granted the freedom we have to add Peng, as well as all our kids, into our family.

Upon arrival, things could not have gone smoother. Jan escorted us every step of the way to our train station continuing to tell us stories of China as we waited. He has learned a lot in his 4 years living here.  We couldn't be more grateful for his help getting us get settled.

Jan and Kevin in Jan's apartment.

Our contact, Anna, was waiting with a sign for us and we quickly connected with three other families coming in and our social worker, Pam, who has been our main connection to Peng for a year now. It was nice to finally meet her in person and give her a hug :)

After getting settled briefly, Pam took three of the families for a walk around the Confucious Temple and Marketplace. Here is a bit of raw footage of a bit of downtown Nanjing outside the Marketplace.

I probably should have told people I was video taping as the group gave me a few odd looks.

The air quality is not stellar here. We saw the haze all the way on the train and both Kevin and I were wondering how long China can survive like this. Many in our group were coughing on our walk over to the Temple and it is not uncommon to see people wearing surgical masks when they are outside. I think there is even a market for stylized ones. We've seen colored ones, flowered ones and even Hello Kitty themed face masks. Another thing that is everywhere....selfie sticks. Selfie sticks and lots of grand posing for the selfies. This picture below is taken the old fashioned way, where one of us bows out in order to get a shot. We just cannot bring ourselves to purchase a selfie stick.




The two other families we've been hanging out with today are on the right. Kevin is standing next to our social worker, Pam.

We went to dinner with these two delightful families and got to hear more of their stories. One family lives in Minnesota and one is from California. Both couples have been waiting a long time to be parents. It is beautiful to watch God at work in aligning the hearts of people to meet a need in another one of his children. And both the parents and children will be immeasurably blessed.

In case you wanted an update on our sleeping patterns....(thrilling information, I know.....) we seem to be waking up at 4am...which isn't too far off our usual at home which is 5:30, so I can't complain. But, speaking for myself, I start getting crazy, dizzy tired around 8pm. Now, let's add a child to the mix today and see how everything goes! Overall, though we're doing great - rest wise.

We met Lu last night, the main Chinese contact here and she told us she DID get the photo book and audio book to him a while back. She claims the staff has been showing him the book, so that was welcome news. That means today will not be the first time he sees our faces. Maybe he'll even recognize us :)

We've been looking forward to this day for a year. Although, it is really only the beginning. We are just so ready to start the healing, bonding, loving from a near distance process with Peng. I feel like we're drifting on a calm river in a kayak where we are taking in all the scenery.  Peaceful, comfortable, amazed at the diversity in God's world. Any minute now, I feel like we'll be tumbling over the anticipated waterfall, with all new emotions, experiences and questions.

For each of our children we have chosen a life verse we use to bless them. To be honest, we prayed the blessing over our kids consistently when they were young, but have neglected it recently. As we chose Peng's verse, we hope to refresh that practice. (Mom and dad, you can even start at home if you'd like - they're up on their bedroom walls :)

If you are able to tonight, we invite you to pray this blessing with us for this sweet boy who is about to have his world turned upside down....

Peng, may the God of hope fill you with all the joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

We'll be in touch soon!

Landed

I am sitting on the porch of our friend Jan's 19th story apartment and we are waking up to our first full day in Shanghai!

The plane ride was OK if we were not expecting to sleep. Once I decided I just wouldn't, I had a much better time:) Kevin was a trooper with his 6 foot 1 frame crammed in the middle of economy, he could barely move. But he didn't complain. We chatted a bit with a fellow from Wuxi (semi close to Peng's city) - but who lives in Boston now. We pelted him with questions and he was happy to share. He was interested in hearing about our adoption journey as well.

If any of you were praying for a lack of jetlag or good sleep....thank you! I am overwhelmed with how relatively 'easy' the transition has been so far. We stayed up pretty much on the plane, then were able to get to bed by 8pm last night. I took three sprays of my melatonin and both of us slept pretty well. I had heard terrible stories of waking up every few hours, being hungry, not being able to get back to sleep....but we were able to go back to sleep when we woke and slept pretty much from 8pm - 6am China time. So awesome. This was also great because, as Jan warned us, the horns really start beeping around 6am. The Chinese driving apparently uses horns in place of blinkers. Just imagine how many times you use your blinker when you're out driving. Now replace that with everyone using horns instead! It's true, we're listening to the music right now :) But we slept right up until the horns, so all is well.  I'm spending an entire paragraph telling you about our sleep, I realize, but if we are not well rested, we will not be at our prime in taking care of Peng, so I'm thrilled for our experience so far.

Jan and his girlfriend, Michelle took us out to dinner last night for Peking Duck. My first time eating duck! It was really good. And the veggies were terrific also. A great local restaurant and fun to catch up with Jan and get to know Michelle a bit. With Jan being Polish and Michelle from  L.A., they are sharing their perspectives on what it's like to live in Shanghai. Learning lots!

Upon arrival, I thought it would be fun to get a picture of the welcome sign at the airport. I got a firm reprimand for this. whoops. Things are a bit tighter here.

A highlight so far was connecting the my mom and dad and the kids this morning via Skype. Their Friday night, our Saturday morning - timing was perfect. There were surely tears last Thursday when we all said good-bye. But it seems like they're adjusting OK and mom and dad said there have been no melt-downs so far. Jude did share that he wants to fall asleep and wake up 14 days later though :) Sweet kid.

We're looking forward to seeing the city a little bit with Jan and Michelle today. It rained a bit yesterday so that cooled the temps. The skies are hazy, but hard to tell if it's smog or just from the rain.

Right now we're on Jan's internet access, we'll see if we can figure it all out on our own once we head to Nanjing on the bullet train tomorrow.

Trying to wrap up the post - no time to edit - I've gotten booted before, so I want to post before I get booted again.

Both Kevin and I are feeling at peace being here and thankful for God's protection over us and our kids. We are also anticipating God's continued faithfulness as we meet Peng in a few short days. Blessings on all of you and your families!

Leavin' on a jet plane

In almost 12 hours, we take off. Bags are packed and we're as ready as we can be.

Helping Dad pack up!

 

God is with Peng in China, our kids here and us on the plane. That is our comfort.  

Primary emotion tonight is sadness in anticipation of saying goodbye to Annie, Jude and Timmy. It's not going to be fun. I am hoping they will rely on their Savior during this time in a new way, knowing He is the One who is always by their side, no matter what. 

 

They want us to wake them up in the morning when we leave at 4:45am. Poor Grandma Sue and Poppa T will have to deal with the ramifications of that, but they all three couldn't seem to bear the thought of just going to bed and having us gone in the morning. Thanks to our friend Patrick who will pick us up tomorrow morning and to our friend Jan (pronounced "Yan") who will pick us up in Shanghai.  We feel very blessed by the support of the people God has put in our lives.

 

We'll try to blog as much as we can, depending on if we have access and what shape we're all in!

But regardless of how much you hear from us, know we are continually

thankful for your prayers to Jesus on our family's behalf.

Saying good-bye to Papa H tonight (Kevin's dad)

 

Poppa T and Grandma Sue.  Please pray for my parents and their time with the kids!
We want these to be happy memories of great quality time with them!
Oh, and that's Gracie Mae, their new puppy :)

Last picture as a family of 5.
If you can see Annie doesn't look quite like herself it is because
she tripped tonight on the edge of the driveway, leaving her with a scraped elbow,
a wound on her knee and a goose egg on her forehead. It's hard to leave her in this shape.
But trusting Grandma Sue to step in to take my place with lots of care and snuggles.
 

Itinerary in China

So, in case you are interested in following our day to day journey while in China.....Here's the rundown! Now remember that China is 13 hours ahead of Minneapolis. So, when we meet our new son at 1:30pm on May 11th, that's really...12:30am early Monday May 11th for all of us in Minnesota.  So...just barely after Mother's Day :) So, to make it easier - when you wake up and happen to read our itinerary....if you are matching up the date with US time, we will have just completed the day you just read about and will be about to head to bed.

 

May 7th -Mpls time

We depart by United Airlines 7:42am landing in Chicago at 9:12am.

Leaving Chicago at 10:40am and arriving in Shanghai at 1:55pm May 8th.

 

May 8th - China time

Arrive, be taken to our friend Jan's apartment - eat dinner - crash!

 

May 9

Spend the day in Shanghai with our friend Jan. We're hoping he can take us to some interesting places that we might not have known to visit. We have heard Shanghai is an eclectic mix of history and modernity. It will be like nothing we've ever experienced before. So glad to have this day to settle in with a familiar friend.

 

May 10th

Take the bullet train to Nanjing. Sounds like when we get off the train, we will have to look for a distinguished Chinese national standing with a sign with our name on it. How many times will we have THAT happen in our lifetime!? That person will take us to our hotel the Holiday Inn Aqua City, where we will meet our contact/translator for the week. We also will meet a handful of other families who are adopting this week as well. AND, our social worker Pam (who is from New York) will actually be there too! She is there gathering info on 55 children to find host homes for the summer and the timing just happened to line up with ours.  So, it sounds like there will be tons of support as we arrive in the capital city of the Jiangsu province. Here is a map if you'd like to see the cities.

 

 

May 11th

We meet Peng! Our schedule says our translator will meet us in the hotel lobby at 1:30pm and take a van with us to the Civil Affiars Bureau.  At that point, some of the orphanage staff will bring Peng to us.  What a day that will be. We will spend some time with the orphanage staff, sign papers of temporary custody and then bring Peng back to our hotel for the night.

 

May 12th

Our contact will bring us back to Civil Affairs Bureau to do our adoption registration. From my understanding - this is our final stamp and when we walk out of that office we will officially be Peng's parents. This is also the day we'll hopefully announce and introduce his new name to all of you :)

 

At night, Pam, our translator and the rest of the adoptive families who are on the same schedule as ours will have a celebration dinner together.

 

May 13th

A down day.  I'm sure this will be a welcomed day.

 

May 14

Take a van to visit Yangzhou Orphanage. This is in the city of Yangzhou (see map). about 1.5 hours each way. We will likely have lunch there and spend about 3 hours there. We are hopeful to get lots of pictures and lots of good conversations.

 

May 15th

Our Chinese contact will pick up our child's passport and send it to our hotel. Other than that it sounds like another down day.

 

May 16th

Apparantly we are going on a Nanjing city sightseeing tour for 4 hours. We do want to get to know the Province and the country where Peng is from. At the same time, taking ANY 3 year old on a sightseeing trip that long is a risk....we will hope for the best!

 

May 17th

9am - check out of our hotel and we will have "our driver" take us to the Nanjing Airport. We have learned that having a driver is fairly common and it's quite a career opportunity for many Chinese. I'm not sure we'll ever feel more pampered.

 

11am - Flight leaves for Guangzhou. This city is in the most southern province on the eastern coast of China. I don't have a map to easily attach, but you can find it easily as it's very close to Hong Kong.

 

1:30pm - Arrive in the Holiday Inn Shifu in Guangzhou. Google it. It looks pretty amazing. Nanjing actually looks amazing too.

 

May 18th

Cordelia, a new translator will meet us in the hotel lobby to take a van to the Medical Clinic for our child's check up. This might not be a fun day. It sounds like they have to take him into a room away from us and he might get some pokes. I'm not sure how it'll all play out. But I anticipate not enjoying this very much.

 

May 19th

More sightseeing. Again, important to see the country and hopefully it will all work out. There is always the option to opt out if Peng needs a break.

 

May 20th

Bright and early 7:30am Cordelia will meet us in the hotel lobby to take a van to the American Consulate for our appointment.

 

May 21st

Cordelia will pick up Peng's visa in the afternoon. Otherwise a down day for us, it sounds.

 

May 22nd

4:30am YIKES! "our driver" will pick us up and drive us to Hong Kong.

 

We fly out of Hong Kong at 11:40am, arrive in Chicago at 1:45pm (the same day!)

Then we head back to Minneapolis from United Airlines flight 1142 arriving at 5:34pm.

 

A number of you have asked us about coming to greet us at the airport. While we can't promise we'll be in prime form, we'd love to give you a quick introduction to our new son and take a hug or two. It will be a very special time for us and we'd love you to be there if you can. We will all just have to use discernment and flexibility as to how Peng seems to be handling it all.   

 

The United baggage claim is typically at carousel 11, so this is the best place for us to meet. Then just look for two exhausted grandparents hanging out with our three kids :) Just kidding - they're going to be in great shape. And just to avoid confusion, we will be coming in from Chicago, so we are not technically an international flight at that point. Those enter from the other end of the building.

 

If for some reason there is a huge change in this plan, we'll try to let you know via this blog.

 

Well - there you have it for today. Back to packing!!!!