Christmastime check in

It’s a few days before Christmas and I do not seem to have had the drive to pull together a Christmas letter to put in the mail. Although, I do feel the need to close out the year with a blog post as we started our home study in December and this month, our journey has reached the one year mark. We talked with our social worker today and while there is no news on progress, it was comforting to hear her say she had no idea what she was asking us to endure when she told us about Peng back in May. They were told the kids would be registered very soon and the conservative estimate for our travel time to adopt little Peng was December. Here we are in December and we are still not even formally matched with him because he’s not registered yet. It’s a bit surreal. The China Center that processes adoptions will be shutting down from Dec. 28 to supposedly Jan. 5, but potentially longer if they need the time to fix their system. They seem to have stopped registering children in recent weeks, in anticipation of that shut down. He might be registered in January. He might not. But each month, we can’t help but hope.

I’ve read some stories lately. One was of a little boy orphaned during World War II. He was a gypsy, but he also was identified as a Jew. The story of his experiences, his pain, his coping mechanisms reminded me there is a lot the human heart can endure. There was tremendous loss, yet there was also tremendous selflessness and love for those he became close to as family. I also have been reading about the atmosphere and atrocities committed in China during the Cultural Revolution. Under communism’s guise of equality, families were brutally forced to denounce, humiliate, shame and betray each other in allegiance to the one ‘family’ of the state. The destruction of the family unit was one of the main goals during that era and tore away at the fabric of society. It became all about saving your own skin. It hardened generations of hearts. I can’t help but wonder how that long, awful season in China's history has shaped the people living there today in regards for the systems and perspectives they carry about adoption, family and priorities. When I’m tempted to get really, really annoyed with them, I have been reminded that these people have been through a lot and that kind of oppression and misused power can really color the way you see the world.

I’m not sure I have a clear point with sharing all of that except that I think I’ve been needing to look outside myself. If I look inward too long and dwell on the ridiculousness of the roadblocks we’ve run into and the injustice of Peng having to wait so long for the mere folly of bad organization – I do start to spiral down. Maybe entering others’ pain helps me carry the pain of our experience.

I’ve noticed the wide variety of realities in my heart this past month. Grief. Trust. Helplessness. Perseverance. Sadness. Christmas. Anticipation.  Disappointment. It’s been amazing to me that I can feel and experience all of these seemingly contradictory realities so often and so regularly. Mostly flipping around back and forth and all in between them within the day. This hymn has resonated with me lately…

I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

Some hours I laugh and am just in the moment. Some hours I wake up in the middle of the night compelled to pray with all my might. Some hours I am so angry at this system that has children trapped in institutions for excessive amounts of time. Some hours I remember God’s redeeming power.

So, if you catch me in person, I can’t predict for you which hour I’ll be in. I may want to talk about it. I may really be tired of talking about it. But in every hour, I know my helplessness and I know my only stability is Jesus Christ.

The Savior. The Messiah. The true God. Light of light eternal. Our Saving Grace. We celebrate his birth with joy regardless of what we’re feeling or experiencing. His goodness is the only hope we really have.

With much to be thankful for....

....we wish you a Merry Christmas and thank you again for reading and caring and praying for our family....

Jay and Trey

We were just informed also that China’s national child welfare organization (CCCWA) realizes it's “system” is inefficient and is closing from December 28^th for a week to re-organize. This could mean things will get a lot quicker! This could also mean things will slow down for a learning curve.  I’m learning not to like knowing practically nothing about the progress of our case, but resigning myself to it.

All this to say, it’s a brutal process, this road to adoption. And yet, I am going to keep advocating for it. Our social worker just asked me today “Do you think you might know anyone who would want to adopt Trey?” He had a family pursuing him, but then it just fell thru this week.  Another little boy, "Jay",too, had a family pursuing him who changed their mind on him a week or so ago.

Both Trey and Jay were sitting next to Peng in the first picture we ever saw of him.

If there is ANYTHING good about the orphanage taking SO LONG to prepare these kids files, it’s that it gives our agency a few extra months of trying to find homes for a few of the children.

This means that a family who has not started the adoption process AT ALL, probably has time to begin a home study, prep their dossier and get going to submit a Letter of Intent to China to adopt one of these little guys.

But that family would have to act fast.

Once the boys are registered, a two month clock starts ticking. If our agency can’t find homes for them, they go to a master list where it is not uncommon for children to sit for years because no one is specifically advocating for them.  If they do end up finding a family, it will be hard for us to find that family.  My prayer and hope has been for Peng to be able to keep the door open to know where his buddies from his early years will be.  In a dream world, they’d be in Minnesota! If not, it would be great to at least know where they are so the boys could have this link to their past. They will have lost so much, including the link to their birth parents. My hope is that they could at least they could stay connected to each other.

I guess, what I’m asking here is….

I wonder if someone reading this post is open to adopting Trey or Jay. 
 

I would love to share more about them.

Trey
 

Trey is an adorable almost 4 year old boy in our Yangzhou partnership orphanage. His file is being readied. His classification will be LID only, because he was treated in the first two weeks of life with antibiotics for a condition he was exposed to. All gone and no residual effects! He looks so serious, and he can focus well, but he knows how to have fun too. He has a buddy(Jay), and they are a riot together!!! He has normal development.

Trey

Trey

Jay

Jay was a little delayed because of his cleft, but in the past year or so has caught up in all areas.  He can speak, but his speech is not entirely clear. His receptive language and understanding is normal. He is a very animated and playful little boy. He is sociable, but has a best friend and shares a room with him. They were observed together and they do seem to share a bond of friendship.  They both loved popping bubbles from a bubble machine and laughing hysterically. Jay had surgery thanks to a medical team from Hong Kong that comes to the area once a year to provide surgery.  The lip was neatly repaired. Jay attends preschool class in the orphanage.  Jay takes directions well from adults and behaves well, despite his playful nature.  Very cute boy with a great personality! 

 

Here is a video highlighting Jay. This was just taken last week! (Trey is in the background in the red shirt)
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljTtvcOpeTw&feature=youtu.be
 

During this waiting time for Peng's file to be registered, I am trying to utlize the connections I have made and be pro-active in advocating for the other kids who are still waiting for families.  If Peng could know Trey and Jay as they grow up, it would be a gift to all three boys.

Adoption is not an easy path. This process alone can be brutal...wait, I already said that, didn't I? But I imagine the harder parts are yet to come as we walk with Peng through the grief, loss, frustration, and all the ramifications that institutional life can have on a child.  Even through all this - I believe it is worth it. These little lives are worth it. They are young and they can heal with the proper support.

Please consider if God is asking you to be the one to journey with them.

If He's not, pay attention to your heart as you pray for these boys and if someone comes to mind, would you forward them this blog?

Don't limit your thinking to families who have no biological children. There are many who may be willing to take this step of faith to see God's healing hand in a child's life, but just need an invitation. And if money is the issue, please encourage them that there are many financial resources out there as well as the reality that God is bigger than money.

The contact for learning more about Trey and Jay is Pam Thomas at Across the World Adoptions. atwachina@gmail.com

Thanks for caring about us, our journey, Peng and his buddies too. 
Happy week to you all :)