Wrapping up the blog

Hello friends and family -
We have been so thankful for this avenue to share our journey both with Ben and now with Josie and hopefully some insights into adoption with you all along the way.

We are ever learning and growing in what it means to be parents of children from China and children from our womb. We know first of all our identity is in Christ and that is what we intend to communicate and validate first of all to all 5 of our kids. After that, we will honor our children's birth family and culture and story as best we can as well as honoring our birth children's unique stories.

So far, we see God's grace in our family even clearer in Josephine JiaYun. I am blown away by her willingness to trust us so soon. She no longer cries when I walk out of the van out of sight for a few seconds to go to her door and unbuckle her. She mimicks our words almost constantly in an attempt to communicate. One day we tried to write down all her new English words, but we couldn't keep up! She listens intently when we need to explain something in detail and while she doesn't understand all the words, she seems to understand he meaning a lot more than I would have expected.

Ben is growing into his new role as big brother. He's expressed some sadness at not being the youngest anymore and sometimes is getting annoyed when Josie does things like turn off Paw Patrol while he's watching it. At the same time I catch him doing things like spreading out Josie's blanket over her legs and feet while she's in her car seat on these cold days and I have hope he'll continue to learn to care for her.

Annie has been wanting a hair cut for a long time, but I told her we'd wait until Josie came so she'd look like the pictures Josie had seen. Now, Annie has the haircut she's been wanting and when I asked if her she was SURE she wanted bangs, she replied 'Yes. Like Josie." They've been requesting matching ponytails almost every day since.

Jude adores this little girl and is so looking forward to the day when she'll hug him unprompted. She sometimes says ''yes' and sometimes 'no' to his requests, but our snuggle bug Jude is learning to respect her space and keep pursuing her with kindness. Josie is really learning to adore Jude right back and I am thinking they'll have a sweet relationship.

TJ continues to laugh at what she laughs at and enjoy her sweet personality. He makes sure to check in with her every time he leaves for a significant amount of time, for school or a friends house and say "See you later, Josie" in English and sign language and she nods saying it back as best she can. She seems to be more at peace when he leaves, trusting he'll be back.

And Baba. Josie has warmed up to Baba and when I won't let her do something (like sleep on the hardwood floor for her nap), she will cry out for him :) If she's having a hard time at home and my consoling won't work, I offer to call Baba at work and she settles down and then smiles when she hears his voice. She reaches out for him now to be held instead of pushing him away like she did a lot in China. I think this is all really impressive for only 3.5 weeks. Someday soon we hope to transition Baba back into the master bedroom. For now, he's probably getting more rest upstairs :)

I, mostly, am trying to continue honing the skill of triage. It's more common now than ever that multiple children are having multiple issues at the same time that need intervention. Not to mention if I was in the middle of anything. I am needing God's discernment on who to attend to first, for how long and in what way. How to keep my pulse on how each child is doing, what they're interested in talking about, how much time I've spent with them on a given day or few days, etc. Then there's just keeping up with schoolwork, music practice, playdates, housework, shopping, food prep, the list goes on. It's also important for me to remember not to neglect our marriage and my own self care. These take more intentionality because the kids' needs always seem to be loud and clear, while Kevin's and my needs can be more subtle and willing to take a backseat. By the grace of God, I'm feeling very fortified for the road ahead of me. However, I am sure a day will come when it might become more overwhelming. For now, maybe I'm still just on a 'high' :)

There are big emotions and big adjustments for all of us these days. Sometimes Josie's deep sadness seems to hover so closely beneath the surface of her joyful spirit. They will likely cohabitate for a while and resurface together through the years. None of us are either all happy or all sad. Most days we are some of both, don't you think?  And I'm seeing this in all the kids as well as in Kevin and I. With every change, there is loss and there is hope for something new. Side by side.

I've been spending most of my time in the house with Josie and thought it might be too soon to take her to the store, but I really wanted some fruit for the weekend, so I took the risk on Friday morning.  I strapped her in the pack on my back and we picked up what we needed.  She did great until the van ride when she wanted to hold all the bags of food on her lap and they just wouldn't fit.

Josie keeping our new loot from the store nearby.

In the check out line I had someone ask "Can she walk?" I responded "Yes, but she feels safe close to me." Then another person looked at us with a bit of disgust and asked "Is that your daughter?" When I responded with a proud mama smile and a "yes", she glared at both of us with what I interpreted as a look of disapproval. When I realized Josie had caught her eye, I turned to block her gaze because Josie didn't need to see that. She just needed to know she's safe on Mama's back and we'll be eating those grapes when we get home.

I wasn't expecting all of that on a quick stop at the store. This may be part of why it is so highly suggested to 'cocoon' for the beginning weeks/months or however much time is needed to gain resiliency for these kinds of interactions. 

I was reminded that the world we live in can be a not so safe place and that sin oozes out and hurts people, even unintentionally. But thankfully, Christ IS a safe place. He welcomes the vulnerable orphans and widows alongside the judgmental and arrogant. He loves us all.  He sacrificed his life to forgive us all. His dominion over death gives strength to heal what is wrong in this world and one day ultimately redeem it all. He desires to dwell with us and us with Him if we will allow it. Not above and far away, but walking with us so we're never alone. If I remember that I'm in the same boat as the lady who did not seem to approve of our family, her glares lose their power. We both need Jesus. I pray Jesus will be Ben, Josie's and all of our family's refuge in this life that will surely bring more struggle.

As cliché as it sounds during this season of Thanksgiving...we have much to be thankful for. That said, we're fairly sure we won't be re-opening the blog for adoption #3. Both Kevin and I feel a sense of completeness, oldness and capacity pretty full. So, barring some lightening bolt message in  the skies to adopt again....our blog will likely fade into internet history :)

Thanks for following our journey and supporting us with notes and meals and encouragement and prayers. Please continue to reach out and let us be cheerleaders of all God is doing in your lives as well. 

Love in Christ,

Kevin, Courtney, Josie, Ben, Annie, Jude and TJ

Home

We are safely home. It's been a bit of a whirlwind and updating the blog has just slid off the list for a bit :) But we wanted to confirm we ARE in Minneapolis and we ARE all together as a family!

Picture taken near the beginning of our first flight when all was still well :)

The trip home was a bit challenging as Josie was pretty much tired of traveling. We had a delay in Seattle for a bit and that was just too much for her. She at one point was screaming over and over "I want to get off the plane!" (A kind man on the flight translated this for us. Although, we sorta got the gist from her other non verbal cues). We finally made it to Minneapolis around 9pm and were so thankful to see our kids and our family and the Connors, who are pretty much like family :) They all helped us rally from the exhausting last 30 hours or so. When we got home, the scene pretty much looked like this....

So excited to be together.

Unfortunately, the excitement is paired closely with jetlag effects and for Josie, another level of sensitivity in the transition.  Sleep has been hard for the four of us coming from China. We just can't seem to sleep at night and we're trying so hard to not sleep during the day, but getting dizzy and irritable and well...most of you have been there.

Grandma Sue and Papa T were great in continuing to help us get everyone fed while we were in lala land not sleeping. But they took off for Milwaukee on Sunday and we were left to figure out our new reality.

Jude, Annie and Ben are pretty enamored with Josie - trying to accommodate her every whim and request. She's eating it up for the most part. It does remind me of when Ben came home and how welcoming TJ, Jude and Annie were. But this time, I am seeing a new side of Ben. He has truly become a big brother. He's showing her where the eyes and toes and nose are on dolls and handing her toys when she is sad and putting his arm on her back when she's walking. It's really awesome to witness. He's growin' up.

There are already some new dynamics we are encountering that will take some working through in the family. And this morning, it was sad to send Dad off to work. I'm not super big fan of putting the struggles in detail on the world wide web, but feel free to reach out individually and I will gladly share specific prayer requests :) One clue, for myself, is that for the few hours of shut eye I was able to catch last night, I had a dream that I was losing children. It happened to be a little girl we met at Josie's orphanage who still needs a family and we had last minute said we'd take home. She wandered off and I couldn't find her in the neighborhood. It probably doesn't take a dream psychologist to realize maybe that's an indicator of some inner fear that I have more on my plate than I'm capable of handling? In the dream, thankfully, I did find the missing child. Hopefully that's a good reminder that eventually it will all be OK.

Overall, we wanted to say thank you for being a part of this portion of the journey. We are thankful for your encouragement.

Please don't stop praying and checking in. We still need it!
Courtney

Last days in China

Today might be a blog post with a lot of pictures, because we had a whole day off and we were able to take a day trip to the Chimelong Safari Park. It was probably the best zoo type experience I have ever had, with the only other one implanted in my memory was from when I was about 13 at the San Diego Wild Animal Park.  We were able to get SO CLOSE to the animals and the animals were ones we don't always get to see in the States. Our favorites being...you guessed it....pandas! We got to go with our new friends Mark and Melinda (from Minnesota) and share the day with them and their family, which made it that much more enjoyable.

TJ was the picture taker extraordinare, and got some amazing shots. Most of which are on the other camera, but here are a few from my phone....

They had so many koalas!

There is nothing like seeing a panda in person.

Josie and I liked the Pandas best. I could have stayed in there all day watching them eat and play. The Park prided itself at having the only triplet pandas born in captivity in the country.  Typically solitary animals, these youngens were still together.  I think the videos won't work, but it's a good pic of Josie enamored.

Kevin's favorite was the Giant Anteater. Especially when it stuck out it's enormously long tongue.

No barriers, just walking right up to this gorgeous creature.

Kevin and Mark studying the quirky Probiscus Monkeys. The monkeys were not interested in being photographed, but the zoo made up for it by posting their picture about every 20 feet around the entire park.

Long noses signify good things in China. The Chinese sure love these monkeys!

Cute little lemurs crowding around a fruit munching. Josie is open to riding on my back now instead of my front, which makes my back VERY happy. 

We ended the day at our favorite local noodle shop. We feed all four of us for under $9 every time we go and we all love the food too.

Wish we could take this place home with us!

Today we are just wrapping up the explosion of our suitcases all over the hotel room and getting set to wake up early tomorrow to head to Hong Kong. We got Josie's visa this morning, so she is all clear for take off to the U.S. Our flight leaves Hong Kong at 11:30ish and we head to Seattle where Josie will become a U.S. citizen upon landing! After working through immigration there, we'll head back on a plane for the short ride to Minneapolis/St. Paul!

We will be on Delta, Flight 2536.Nov. 3rd, departing from Seattle at 1:20pm and arriving in Minneapolis at 6:38pm.

Our kids and parents will be there and if you'd like to meet Josie briefly, we'd love to see you! After this we might hunker down for a few months :) We are hopeful her adjustment will go well as she seems to have become much more comfortable with us even in this last week and a half. But just to be sure we will do our best to keep her world 'small' for the next few months. We are still so impressed with this courageous little girl.

We want to publically thank God for the seamless trip we have had paperwork/logistics wise. And also for new friends with great cold medicine. This trip is obviously only the beginning of our journey, as Josie will take a while to get acclimated to her new life.  We also will readjust to life as a family of seven. But we feel like we have had a great foundation to build on and we cannot thank God enough for that.

Thank you too, for investing in our journey - for your supportive comments and prayers and help with our kids as we've been gone. It really helps to not do this alone.

Good-bye to China for now!

Hopefully if we come back for a visit we'll be able to bring the whole crew!

Psalm 121 in Chinese

"I lift up my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord. Maker of heaven and earth...The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."

Sun/Mon/Tues

Oh my, I should really blog every day because so much happens. But here goes!

Josie's mirror.

Sunday we visited the Chen Family Ancestral Hall. Apparently the family built this magnificent building and anyone with the last name "Chen" could use it for events and festivities. Our guide told us the last name (or first name in China) "Chen" is as popular as "Smith" in the U.S. It was pretty ornate and fancy. But instead of showing a picture of the complex, I'll just share this one of sweet Josie getting a special mirror. In both our hotels the elevators have mirrors and many of the times she sees herself she just lights up and says "Yun Yun". This is what we found out she was called as a nick name. So, we got her this mirror from the gift shop. It's very pretty with a shellfish cover and butterflies on the top. Maybe not the most super 2 year old friendly gift, but we're going for it.

Monday we went to the Guangzhou Zoo. It's just down the street from the hotel. There aren't that many good pics from the zoo, but this one of a brown bear staring up at TJ was kinda fun. I'm pretty sure it wanted food. It's way easier to sneak food to the animals in this zoo than any I've seen in the States :) We didn't, by the way.

TJ and the Brown Bear

Monday night we were able to take the Pearl River Cruise. So far, Josie has done pretty fabulous when we're out and about, so we've decided to just try all the stuff our agency had offered to us. It's been a good way to get to know the country where two of our children are from. We happen to be here during a lights festival, so much was lighted up on the river edge which made the ride even that much more engaging. There was a juggler on the boat and I will say Josie's least favorite part of the evening was when the juggler grabbed her finger to spin a basketball on top of it. Thankfully, it was short lived and she was in Mama's lap, so she recovered fairly quickly. 

We are in the home stretch!

Tuesday Morning we went to our Consulate Appointment. This is our last bit of formal work here in China. Woohoo! We also took the van to visit Shaiman Island after our Consulate appointment. The trees are SO incredible. I wanted to take pictures of every one. I need to find out what kind they are.

Questionably appropriate tree climbing on Shaiman Island

Josie naps.

On Shaiman Island, we shopped at a store called "A gift from China". In it, were many beautiful items, but something that caught my eye was a book written about a family who were pressured into abandoning their child. It was a short story, written by a Chinese person for an adoptive family who might be able to share it with their child to help their child understand a little bit of the background of an all too typical story. It shares the customs and pressures on families to have a son to carry on the family name and take care of the parents when older and of the one child policy here to slow down population growth. It also tells of the birth parents agony in making the decision to release their child to someone else's care. To not abandon the child means accepting a life that few of us can even imagine living. I am convinced that the decision to leave one's child on a doorstep of a stranger or in a public place with the hopes they will be found, is not one the majority of birth parents in China take lightly at all. My strong suspicion is that they make this decision out of a place of sheer desperation in a culture of governmental control and influence that has made it so extremely difficult to make any other decision. My heart breaks for Josie and Ben's birth parents and I wish they could know what remarkable people they were a part of creating. 

On that note, it is also remarkable to be a part of God's redemptive plan for these little munchkins to belong to a family. We are so blessed to know them. I'll end with a few highlights from the past few days.

Josie has continued to have full nights rest and good naps when we're in the hotel. It is quite amazing. 

And a bit adorable too.

Josie likes to have her backpack with her everywhere she goes. Comfort. However, since she started riding in the pack TJ has been the delegated backpack holder. He's starting to feel like a personal assistant. Yesterday I asked if it felt like Josie was his sister yet. He said "yes". When asked to expound he said "Because she used to be just cute, but now she's cute and a little annoying." (He really wants her to carry her own backpack)

We take vans almost everywhere and we have used baby sign language to help communicate to her what is about to happen. It is so fun now to explain something to her and her nod her little head quickly and just ever so slightly. I am sure she is thankful too :)

This is where we eat breakfast everyday. I have completely become accustomed to the amazing scenery and smorgasbord of food choices, along with no prep or clean up. Josie has too. Even though life in MN will be different, we wouldn't trade being home for any waterfall or koi fish pond in the world. 

Josie took a while to realize it was OK to take a bath. Once she's in and adjusted, she seems to really enjoy it. She even dumps water on her own head to get the shampoo out! This is one of my new favorite pictures!