Falling into place...

Last week we had the opportunity to attend a Family Camp at Cedar Campus in the UP of Michigan. I (Courtney),  have fond memories of college experiences at that camp and to go back as a family turned out to be a decision approved by all.

On that Friday, June 30th, before we left, our social worker told us we had received "Soft LOA". This means our paperwork was done processing in China and the hard copy for us to sign was on it's way! That long silence from China ended up being not as long as we expected! Instead of having the paperwork sit in California for a week, while we were at camp, our agency FedEx'd it to us at the camp! I had brought our supporting documents and gotten prepaid shipping labels and we were able to turn around the documents within 24 hours to send down to Texas for the next stage of immigration prep for JiaYun. I got word that it arrived safely there yesterday. The details are falling into place!

Then yesterday we received a special package from the U.S. Government in the mail for Timothy. My mind wasn't working properly and couldn't think of what it could be, until Kevin noted..."it's probably his passport" YAY! Did we tell you we're taking TJ to China!? Needless to say, he's pretty pumped. With a 9 year difference between TJ and Jia Yun, they may not have as many shared memories along the way of their childhood. We figured this was a good opportunity for them to have a pretty significant shared experience. He will enjoy the food, the culture, the experience while the other three seem to actually prefer  (for the most part) that they are going to stay home and have some adventures for themselves.

In the next day or so, we hope to get our next phase of paperwork completed which includes applying for our visas to travel.  So, it's true...it's all falling into place.

Sometimes we can plan things, like the paperwork for this adoption and sometimes we just see God place blessings in our laps. We experienced both last week as our paperwork kept trucking and we also met a few new friends at Cedar Campus who have adopted from China as well. Just having that shared passion and experience gave us a boost of encouragement. To see each of our unique children grafted into our families reminded me of God's faithfulness. We didn't necessarily seek out that community, but it felt just like a big hug from the Lord as a serendipitous surprise. The not so fun news is that they all live so far away. But we are trusting God will continue to provide us with supportive friends who have either adopted or are truly supportive of God's calling on our hearts to adopt. We can only plan so much. New friends, good friends, supportive friends, we rely completely on God to provide. And he is in the midst of doing so :)

 I forgot to mention that we got some updated pictures and videos in June from JiaYun's caretakers. She changes so much even every few months. It makes me happy to see her, and sad we aren't with her to take care of her as she grows. The time is getting closer. No specific dates yet - but likely still October.

I'll leave you with a few pics from our family time at Family Camp last week. Hope you all are embracing the summer as well!

Just us hanging out on the porch at Cedar

Kevin signing the "Letter of Acceptance" of Jia Yun into our family.

Courtney signing them as well

Jude celebrating his 9th birthday at camp

Mailing our next leg of paperwork from the gas station in Cedarville, MI

Climbing "The Wardrobe" rocks near "Narnia" 

Crossing the isthmus on our hike

The long silence from China

June has been mentally busy for many reasons, but it has not been busy with adoption related things. At least not the task stuff, which is mostly what people ask about. There is a good 50-60 day silence from China that we are in the midst of, where they have what they need from us and are just putting us through the system. We are on a fairly clear track as far as what to expect. So, thankfully, Kevin and I are not feeling anxious about anything logistically on that end.

However, the adoption preparation of our hearts and the major shift in our family dynamics that is rapidly approaching is the where a bit of anxiousness tends to linger. Currently, our summer, for the most part, has the 'feel' of a family just doing summer life in Minnesota. Trying to stay on top of the house, enjoying neighbors, participating in some community and church events, managing sibling quarrels, shuttling to appointments and playdates and waiting for dad to come home so we can all be together and enjoy the long days as a family. I wonder....are we ready to pour ourselves out to assimilate into an entirely new family? To lose the freedoms we have begun to enjoy? To be thrown back into almost constant internal and external chaos and desperation? I'm not sure if anyone can prepare fully for that, so I'm not sure we'll ever be ready. Thankfully, we serve a God who is ready.

If it seems I'm expecting the worst, it's because I am. Anything that is not the worst, will just be a blessed surprise. But the tsumani is coming. How long it lasts or what intensity it will hold is unknown. Every child and adoption experience is different. But all adoptions involve stress, unknowns, loss, fear and transition. This 'silence' we are experiencing from China is only short term. What is brewing beneath it is the life of a little girl whose entire world is going to be turned upside down in a few short months. At least we, here in Minnesota, have an idea of what is coming. How can she even begin to prepare for what is about to happen to her? She will be cognitively informed soon, but her two year old heart will have no context for any of it. Fear very well may linger for her as well. She needs a family and so she needs to go through the transition awaiting her. We do believe it is in her best interest long term. But what is coming soon will be heart wrenching for her.

For both our family, who has an idea of what happens after this silence and for JiaYun who really has no way to prepare...we are both involved in a work of God.  Philip Yancey said in his book The Jesus I Never Knew,  "Often a work of God comes with two edges, great joy and great pain." I believe all seven of us are about to experience both of those.

Next week, our family is headed to a family camp at Cedar Campus, in the UP of  Michigan. I went there many times as a student with my Intervarsity college group and have fond memories of the Lord meeting me in the stillness and the reflection and the worship and the teaching from God's words. I am hopeful God will peel back our busy minds to nurture each of us in the moment.

Will you join us in praying for JiaYun as well? That in the months before her big transition, she would have consistent pictures of Jesus, her Good Shepherd, gently providing for her needs and tending to her heart. Pray she knows she is not alone.

We will let you know as soon as we have any logistical news or potential travel dates. Until then, we linger in the silence, with the Savior of the Universe by our side.

DTC 5/9/2017

And it's off! All our i's are dotted and t's are crossed and the big bulk of paperwork we've been working on since December, our Dossier...is on a plane to Beijing as I type this. Our agency also graciously enters it electronically, so that should help the CCCWA (China's child welfare agency) go even more swiftly.

It's such a classic statement, but I'll say it anyway. If you would have told me two years ago today, as we were walking off of a plane in the Shanghai airport that we would be submitting our Dossier for a daughter two years from that exact day...I might not have believed you! And if I did, I would have probably been more than a bit overwhelmed! These kinds of hind sights make me so thankful the future unfolds for us and we don't know all the details too far in advance.

As a planner and one who loves to have clear vision and direction, I am realizing that not knowing the future is really is a mercy from God. Only the Savior of the Universe has the capacity to carry the future. And he offers that gift of a lighter load to us. He lifts it from our shoulders, so that we don't have to carry it. I am in the process of humbly learning to accept this gracious act of chivalry. 

He has equipped us, by His grace, to carry the present. No more. No less.

So, in two days, we celebrate two years of knowing our Ben. That is our present. We don't want to rush past that milestone. We are seeing Jude grow into a responsible and attentive brother, son and friend. We are thankful for TJ and his exuberance and delight in the world around him. We are increasingly aware of Annie's nurturing presence and emerging humor. We are beyond grateful for a marriage where Kevin and I continue to enjoy each other's company and love doing life together. We are blessed with a job for Kevin that provides for our family. We are wrapping up formal school and seeing summer on the horizon. We hope to soak up opportunities to grow, play, learn, serve and thrive over the next few months. We are surely on a good trajectory to pick up our newest daughter sometime this fall, and we are working hard to embrace the good in our present.

We will now wait for about 6-8 weeks for a very special document to come from China. Once we receive that, we sign it right away, stating in a very official way that we are accepting China's offer to place JiaYun in our family.

After that document comes, the pace starts to pick up and plans will start falling into place for more understanding on when we'll travel.

Until then, we take a deep breath, pray for our sweet girl in China and keep loving those within our reach.  Thanks again for following our journey.

Paperwork

So, the question...."how are things going with the adoption?" is a common one these days. And could be a quite lengthy one to answer. I try to consolidate so as not to bore people and not get into too many of the specifics. But in case anyone REALLY wants to know...we're still in the thick of the paperwork stage. It's like a big scavenger hunt.

Excerpts from our last month....

A walk to the bank across the Cub parking lot with our doctor to have her sign our physical reports in front of a notary.  A trip to the city of Roseville's office to pick up notarized statements that Kevin and I have no police records in Roseville. A trip back a few days later when I realize the notary forgot to add her stamp. Getting 12 pictures of our family printed at Target to send to China (per their request), and realizing that because of the angle, one of my children looks like they are not wearing any clothes. Choosing another picture and getting it reprinted. An early morning trip to the Secretary of State's office in St. Paul with 4 children to get our 12 notarized documents 'certified'. Oh, but my birth certificate is from Wisconsin, so they can't certify it. They direct me to go to the bank down the street, have them make a copy and notarize that I showed them my original. Do that, then take that back to the Secretary of State's office for certification. Go home and get ready to send to the courier who will have all these certified documents authenticated in Washington D.C. She needs copies of everything we send, so Kevin lovingly makes beautiful color copies, but then I realize they are not allowed to be color copies, they must be black and white and you cannot un-staple any of the pages, you must copy them being folded over, even if that means some of the information cannot be seen on the copies.  Fix the copies. Take the copies and certified documents to Fed Ex to send to the courier. I need a pre-paid shipping label for our courier to send us back the documents once they are authenticated, but I forgot my account number for Fed Ex at home, and they can't look it up. I go back that evening and they have a wrong number on our account that can't be fixed until the morning when the business office opens. We go back the next morning and finally got it sent out to the courier in Chicago. Courier calls after receiving the documents and says actually my birth certificate needs to be sent to Wisconsin for certification, not Minnesota. I send it to Wisconsin and the courier will be holding our paperwork. All of this is going on while we got fingerprinted in St. Paul a few weeks ago and submitted our application with USCIS requesting that we be allowed to adopt a foreign child who will then become an American citizen. We're waiting for that approval. We found a 'rush' service that can certify and authenticate that approval, when we get it and get it to our agency within a week. Once all these documents I've been talking about have gotten all the seals they need, they'll go to our agency in California and be mailed out across the Pacific Ocean. This is a great day and in the China adoption community, affectionately referred to as DTC. Dossier to China. Definitely a marker. And time to take a deep breath.

On a serendipitous note, our agency said we can ask for an update anytime and so we did! We asked a few questions of the caretakers who have our soon-to-be daughter and for an updated picture and video. Within a few days the orphanage responded! We saw two more videos and heard a little bit more about her life thus far. We are counseled not to share pictures or videos on the internet until she is officially ours, so we'll follow that counsel. But I'll share that in the first picture we saw of her she looked pretty melancholy, with her head resting on her hands.No appearance of joy. In the new picture we got, she is beaming and I smile every time I look at it.

So, 'How are things going with the adoption?" The real life version is what is listed above. The answer you'll probably get if you ask me in person is "Good, just doing some paperwork."

And even with this mini excerpt of the rigamaroll that is adoption...she's worth every signature, staple, car trip, copy, re-copy and hoop we're jumping through.

Thanks for caring about our family and our journey. Pray for our family to continue to prepare well - physically and emotionally for the big change. Pray for our little Jia Yun. That she will not grow up too much without us. And please pray for the little ones all over this globe who do not have a family to feel secure in tonight. Pray that a family begins to pursue them soon, or that the Lord meets the unmet needs of their hearts in supernatural ways that only He can.

And Happy Belated Easter from the Hubers clan.

One more time

As it turns out, Kevin and I have figured out we have room for one more member in the Hubers clan. God is sorta fun that way. Adoption must be a little bit like giving birth in that it kicks you in the rear, but then after the dust settles, you want to go back for more. It will be two years this May that Ben has been our son and brother. His little heart has transformed in ways that are amazing to witness. The attachment journey is just that, a journey. But he's come so far and we have fallen so in love with him, it's actually hard to think of experiencing this only once.

There are of course many reasons we could talk ourselves out of this, but there was an open window in both of our hearts. And that seems to be enough for Jesus to do mighty things!

We pick up this blog at a different spot from where we started last time. We actually began our paperwork before Christmas, will have our home study complete by early next week and we already have pre-approval from China for a little girl waiting for a family!

That means this little one's file is prepared and she is paper ready for adoption. It also means China accepted our "Letter of Intent" to pursue her and her file is locked for us. At this point, it's all just coordinating between the U.S. and China to get a bunch more paperwork done...which will likely take 6-8 months. Even though we've only been matched for a short time and we have a much firmer estimate of when we'd get her than what we had for Ben...6-8 months still feels like a long time.

Some things we know about her....she turned two years old shortly after Christmas, she is from the same province as Ben and she has the sweetest, chubbiest cheeks that will soon be getting kisses from her mom and dad and big siblings.

It's amazing once you cross the line of committing to a child, the feeling of responsibility of looking out for their best interest as only a parent can....starts to well up pretty fast.  Obviously we think it is in her best interest to be out of that orphanage and into our family.  At the same time, we want to wait well.

I remember from our waiting experience for Ben, that in times of great distress during his first year home, I would think back on that ache I had for him to be home. And I would find some strength. It is like the parental love God was growing in us took root during that time and then there was more foundation to press through some of the hardest seasons. So, I trust this season of waiting is building up a storage of strength for us as we will be entering another tough season of transition come fall.

At this point, we're just wanting to share the good news and asking you to pray for Kevin and I, Ben, Annie, Jude and TJ.  And JiaYun.

We also wanted to publically say "Thank you Jesus, for bringing us another daughter to love!"

Let the journey begin again....

The beginning.




It's hard not to smile when looking at that face, don't you think?

We are a week home and are officially thrown full back into toddlerhood. This while managing the older three recouping from our long time away, helping Annie process that someone else just took her 'spot', Kevin figuring out how to catch up at work, me trying to find out what in the world we can all eat and enjoy, helping everyone stay safe, and just staying on top of the regular 'stuff' of running a home, trying to be attuned to everyone's needs....it's a lot. I'm not going to lie. Even that we finished mowing the lawn yesterday was a small miracle. Some would describe this as "survival mode". Much has changed for everyone, but especially for Ben. And for us, some things are familiar in parenting him and some things are new, because of how he spent his first three years.

From professionals in the field, we've heard anything from "it seems manageable at a month, but then hits the fan around month 6" to "the first three months are horrible" to "the first 3-6 months are REALLY, REALLY hard". All of those have the common denominator that this summer and fall are likely to be like nothing we've experienced before. With summer bringing on less routine, more options, access to wide open spaces and a new little man trying to figure out his new world...I'm probably the only Minnesotan wishing it were winter right now. We are needing Jesus more than we ever have before.

Jude, Timmy and Annie have been such amazing big siblings. I couldn't be prouder of them. They share with him, play with him, help keep him safe as well as carry him off randomly to be 'SuperBen'. Being Ben's big brothers and big sister will take a learning curve for them as well and they are willing to walk the road. We are asking a lot of them and they are learning how to love both when it's easy and when it's hard. We can only pray that they will see Jesus' sacrifice for them more clearly after having sacrificed so much for their new brother. 

Four kids jumping

So, we started this blog with the intention of sharing the specifics of how our adoption process was progressing as well as share insights into adoption related topics with you, our friends and family who care about us.  From here on out, both Kevin and I are sensing that the best avenue for future conversations regarding our family and adoption would be best done in a more personal format. Now, actually finding space for those personal conversations will be a monumental feat! Also, know that we are open to talking to anyone at all even remotely interested in potentially exploring the possibility of adopting.

Which reminds me...many of you prayed for and passed along a blog post I wrote last summer about a little boy named "Yeager" in trying to find him a home. We got to meet him while we were in China! Sweet boy, with a mom and dad working hard to get to him from Illinois. It was such a joy to take some videos and pictures for them as I know I would have treasured those if anyone would have been able to take them for us. I'll be so excited when he finally gets home too.

So, with all this said, I'm guessing that this may be our last blog post. I'll keep the blog out there for a while in case there is anything we've posted in the last year and a half that is worth reading again. Feel free to still forward to anyone connected to an adoptive family if you think it would be encouraging. Everything we have learned has been from people who have gone before us. We also would love to meet other families who have recently adopted from China who live in the Twin Cities or other Chinese Americans as well. We want to expand our circles of friends as well as attempting to keep Ben connected to his birth culture. Feel free to connect us if you know of anyone!

I know I've mentioned we need to be in 'cacoon mode' for a while to keep Ben's world small and for him to feel secure within his new family unit. But please feel free to reach out to our family. Even if it's just to send us a note letting us know you prayed for us. Invite us to stuff and we'll discern on a case by case/day by day situation if it would be a good idea or not. It all goes a long way to help us remember we're not alone. Thank you to those of you who have brought meals to my parents while we were gone and to us this week so far. Your extra effort on our behalf is beyond appreciated.

We are thankful to be starting this new season and getting to know this really great kid. We already see a lot of good things blossoming in him. The Lord has not abandoned this little one. 

As I type this I have him in a toddler carrier on my back and he's actually fallen asleep.  Jude and Annie are playing a game together and we're about to head out to pick up Timothy from school. This is a rare quiet moment these days. A chance to take a breath. In. Out. In. Out. One day at a time. His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3

We are confident the Lord laid this calling to adopt Ben on our hearts. It becomes clearer as we get to know him that he is a wonderful fit into our family. That affirms our faith even more in our amazing God. We are standing on our Redeemer's promises of faithfulness to all of us for the days and years to come. We are safe in His Hands and there we will be sustained.

Thank you for celebrating with us what He has done!

Psalm 82:3 Defend the weak and the fatherless;
uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.

Goodbye to China

Tonight Ben is a citizen of China. Tomorrow, as soon as we touch ground in Chicago, he becomes a U.S. Citizen and life will never be the same.

 

Earlier this evening we said good bye to our new friends and Ben's old friends. It was emotional for me to think of them not seeing each other every day anymore. But I am SO thankful we've had this two week transition time for them to still connect on a daily basis. As loud and crazy as it was during that 'connecting' time, I am really glad we took this journey with these other families. We share a special bond with them now after experiencing all of this together.

 

We are trying to head to bed early tonight as we have a huge travel day tomorrow. Again, we are scheduled to arrive in Minneapolis at 5:23pm and are planning to meet my parents, Kevin's dad and our kids at the United baggage claim number 11 after that. I'm almost positive on that - if not - there are only a handful of United Baggage claims and they're all right next to each other :) If you're close by and want to join our family, feel free. Disclaimer we have no idea what shape we'll be in, but it would be fun to give you a quick introduction to this little man.

 

As we are ready to head home, I'll just share a few more random pictures of our time in China. It's a fascinating culture and country and I'm sure we'll be learning a lot more about it as the years go on. But for now, it's time to say good-bye and to welcome Ben to the U.S.!

In front of the U.S. Consulate to get our Visa for Ben to travel home!

View from the roof of our hotel in Guangzhou

 

Ben and Jackson, who is headed to sunny CA, lucky guy.   

Girl studying outside her family's street side pet store

Organizing merchandise on the road side

The 'over 50' crowd's common pastime...hackysack. You should really see the video.

Amazing spindly trees lining the streets everywhere in Guangzhou. Maybe this is a Ficus?

The man who tried to sell us this puppy.

Ben thoroughly enjoys all things moving. Cars, vans, escalators and pictured here...the elevator.



Ben being a rock star at his medical appointment.

One of a zillion bead stores.

Bikes of all kinds are EVERYWHERE.

The burial site of the Founder of Modern China....I'll have to get back to you on his name.

Garbage day.

Ben's buddy Sophie who is heading to MN as well!

Strolling the streets of Nanjing.

Real men wear toddlers.

Bubbles speak every language.
 

See you soon!