Sugar

We have potential travel dates! Nothing official yet, but we could POSSIBLY be leaving for China either May 7th or May 14th.  That's really coming up soon.  AGH!  We are officially in our wait for "TA", otherwise known as Travel Approval from China.  This can take up to 3 weeks, but we've heard people are getting them sooner. Trying to be cautiously optimistic. Then, we'd petition for a Consulate Appointment and once that was approved, we set our travel around that appointment. 

As I've been sharing this news, many of you have been so excited for us. And you've asked about our excitement.   I've felt a little bad because I don't know that "excitement" is the word to describe how I'm processing all of this. I actually think my overwhelming emotion is compassion.  Is that an emotion?  

The fact is, Peng is soon going to be uprooted from everything he has ever known.  His language, his caregivers, his surroundings, his foods, his smells, his routines, his friends, his country....are all about to dissolve. He is about to lose everything. And we are going to be cause of it as well as eye witnesses to it.  Kevin has shared he's thinking about how Peng will react to us, if he will be hesitant, if Peng will attach to one of us first and want nothing to do with the other? All of these are potential scenarios as we get to know our new son.

I am following a few people who are just a few steps ahead of us. One family is on day 3 of having their son, who is not that much older than Peng.  They have described the first day as amazing with lots of smiles even with a full night sleep. Some super cute pictures. Then day 2 and 3 hit and they describe the ache they see in him. How it's all sinking in on almost every level, his world has been utterly uprooted.

April 1st I decided I needed to cleanse my body from sugar. Sugar has been my 'go to' for as long as I can remember.  It makes me happy for about a minute and then I either need to move on, or eat more sugar. Unfortunately, I often choose the later.  I have heard it takes 21 days to break a habit and develop a new one. I'm on day 14 and this is hard. It was really hard the first week, but this week is still hard. I did make it through Easter though. Those two bags of pastel M&M's have been around for over two weeks now. That might be a record in our house. I don't think they know what to do with themselves. They've started eating vegetables.



I DO want to kick this bad habit. I  KNOW it will be worth it in the end to give my body this break and I BELIEVE this is the right thing to do to honor God as He did not design my body for all the sugar I have been giving it.  I'm excited for what I'm aiming at. The end is health. But the transition is really, really tough.

I DO want to get to Peng. I KNOW it is best for him to be in a family. I BELIEVE he belongs with us now and we belong with him. We are beyond excited that Peng is going to grow up in a family who adores him and does their best to meet his needs and introduce him to his Savior. But the transition is going to be really, really tough on him.

So, while a part of me is certainly excited and I want to be excited with all of you who are so excited for us! A big part of me is melancholy in empathy for our sweet new boy about to enter into huge grief and loss. I share all of this just to be as transparent as possible for what this journey is like for us.  Please continue to be excited with us and for us. 

And also, please continue to pray for Peng's heart to be prepared as best as possible to weather the transition, learn to trust us early and know He has an ever loving God who is His CONSTANT in all times.

I'll let you know when we have "TA"
(for those keeping track of steps...this is step 2, counting down from 10!)

Oh, and Happy Belated Easter....