To rejoice and to mourn

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
(Romans 12:15)

Not that the Scriptures are primarily a "how to live" book, but God definitely shares such wisdom on how He designed us to live and thrive. This particular passage has come alive again to me recently.

During this 'down time' waiting for Peng, there have been a few of his friends that I have tried to advocate for, find families for and pray for. The ones I've shared on this blog are Jay, Trey and Yeager.  I wanted to take a chance to follow up on them and share that Jay and Trey have families committing to them! Jay was a little boy who had a cleft palate for the first two years of his life, then a team of surgeons was able to repair it and he has the most precious smile now. Sounds like he will be going to a family on the east coast.  Trey was a little guy who really had no known special needs, but he was older, like Jay. Both boys are four years old. Sounds like Trey will be adopted by a family who lives in California.  I am so thrilled to share this good news. And thanks to all of you who forwarded my blog, asked friends if they were open to these kids.  Feel free to forward along this good news as well :)

A little boy they named Yeager has been on my heart since last summer. To be honest, there was even a weekend where Kevin and I had a serious conversation about bringing him home along with Peng. Having 5 kids within 5 years of each other just seemed a little over the top for us. He also was too close in age to Annie and we didn't feel comfortable with the small age gaps. In all, we didn't have a peace about it. So, we prayed and advocated for him. Yeager has scoliosis and will need surgery soon as his lungs are starting to be compressed from the curvature in his spine. In his video, you can see a sweetness in him - and yet our agency has had a hard time finding a family for him. And wouldn't you know it....I actually heard last week that, Yeager was actually registered. Our agency will have about two more weeks to find him a home. Then they lose the file and it will be difficult to know what happens to him. 

The good news.....even as I write this our social worker told me someone is reviewing his file. Others have reviewed it and passed him over, but this might be his best shot and our best shot at being able to stay in touch with his family. I sure hope I can share good news about him soon.

I need to give my focus to where God is providing for his children. I love hearing about when any orphan finds a family.  Rejoicing with these kids and families has been one of my greatest blessings during this wait time. While it is tempting to hear stories of other families who are rapidly getting close to their travel day and wish it was us....there is great fulfillment in simply rejoicing with them as they rejoice. There are children coming home into families, getting out of institutions all the time.  I'm now in circles where I get to hear about it often. And I need to keep hearing those stories. And one day it may be us. Until then, I want to rejoice with those who are rejoicing.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
(Romans 12:15)

We have obviously received no news that Peng is registered yet. Recently, I have given myself permission to identify this loss, this grief and the stress that I have carried around because of it since last summer. I have been tempted in the past to say things to myself like "This isn't as bad as some people have it. There are people losing parents, seeing their children with life threatening diseases, sleeping on the streets, etc." I'm not sure that it's helpful to compare grief. What has been helpful is to acknowledge it. And I think I'm just owning up to the fact that my heart has been in grief stage for quite some time. So many of you have been kind to check-in about when we will travel.  Forgive me if I stop answering that question, because I still have no idea. All I know is things are moving very slowly and that I am sad about it all.

We have already lost the gift of being a part of Peng's life for about eight more months than we had thought and we don't know how much more of his life we will miss. Plainly put, that is sad. And instead of focusing trying to figure out when we'll travel, I'm just focusing on being in that sadness with my family and with Jesus. I am thankful for all of you who also acknowledge this as a loss and have grieved with us. You have mourned with us as we have mourned. My kids have mourned, Kevin has mourned. There is not much that feels good about loss.

The comfort comes when people enter into the present, not thinking the future will 'fix it'. While I am sure our emotions of loss will dissipate as we welcome Peng into our family, this season of sadness is part of our journey. We have to walk through it daily, not just focusing on wishing for it to go away. Every day Jesus is faithful to carry us through. And He's carrying Peng too. I feel like I'm getting to a place where I am closer to accepting the loss of all these months and allowing God to create a new reality for our family. It is still not clear what that is, or when it will be complete, but He is with us.  

The simple act of mourning with those who mourn can be a challenging admonishment when it is so uncomfortable to dwell in sadness. Yet it so incredibly powerful and healing to those in pain. I can see why God put this encouragement in His Bible.  Thanks for carrying this burden with us.

I do have one update: Three of the children from Peng's orphanage have now been registered. One would think this could mean his will come soon. That would be a natural hope. At the same time, it is just as realistic that they will enter these three and take a few weeks/months off before registering more. You just never know. Speculation has gotten me in trouble too many times before. So, the wait continues.

And a special note. This blog is focused on our journey with Peng and the details surrounding that. In case it ever sounds too heavy, I want to share that in the midst of all of this Kevin and I are also enjoying many blessings together and experiencing much joy with each other and with our kids. God is good to us. 



In front of the China Christmas Tree at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago - Dec. 2014