You can't just love adoption

I have always loved adoption. Vulnerable children strike a deep chord within me.

Maybe it started with my mom directing a crisis pregnancy center through my childhood years.  In college, I started getting active in trying to support children who were conceived in less than ideal circumstances and their moms who were considering abortion.  After college, I sought out a job working in an adoption agency so I could be a part of connecting children to their new families.  In my twenties, I visited orphanages in Central America and West Africa, hoping to make some sort of difference in the lives of those most vulnerable.  When I was pregnant with Timmy and was asked to nanny a friend’s daughter who was newly adopted, it was clear the answer was “yes!”.  I often have a clear sense of purpose when asked to help adoptive families.  I just seem to want to be a part of God’s provision for orphans in any way possible.  I guess I’ve sensed a theme.

But I was confronted by an article somewhere recently that said “You can’t just love adoption. You have to love parenting.”  Am I ready to pour my energy, my patience, my prayers into yet another little person? Am I ready to sacrifice my sleep again, put my own desires second, be creative in my day planning, think proactively, endure meltdowns, not take things personally, feel isolated and confused, have no idea how to discipline sometimes, manage conflict multiple times a day, discern the reason behind the behaviors and make intentional space in my day to truly engage with another little person?

I shared with Kevin that quote I had read in the article.  He responded “I love parenting. I don’t love adoption.”  He was speaking of course of the details/paperwork of it all. Making sure our passport picture background is white enough. Making sure we notarize pretty much every signature. Sending the right papers to the right people in the right timing. All that fun stuff.  But, it reminded me again that he has the right priorities.  He’s ready to move through the process, learn during it and then start building a relationship with our next child.  So, for as much as I have been an advocate for adoption for as long as I can remember, it doesn’t matter in our family if I don’t love parenting. 

Thankfully, I think we’re far enough into this parenthood thing to honestly say “I love it.” It has been the most exhausting endeavor I’ve ever pursued, but probably the most life giving as well.  To be given the honor of sharing the agape love of Jesus Christ and investing in the lives of three of the most incredible people I know….it’s pretty terrific. 

I could go on and on about how many times a day my heart swells with overflowing pride and pure joy when I interact with, watch, meet the needs of and just enjoy being with my children.  That doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly hard and there are times I really need talk about the hard parts to some of you.  But I love seeing how God uses both my faithlessness and faithfulness to draw out really amazing things in my children.   

So, while I love adoption, I will love our new child even more.  Because after we bring this child home and all that paperwork is over, she will not be our “adopted child”.

She will be our child.
She will have been adopted.

Adoption complete.

Parenting to be continued...